1. You know you are a teabagger when
1. Your dog rides in your truck, but your wife stays home and mixes ammonium nitrate.
2. You can remember the fertilizer, pellets and ammonium nitrate mixture ratios, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday.
3. You have stolen gravel from the county road to cover your AK -47 ground stash.
4. You shout down someone who is talking, because you believe they are trying to limit your freedom of speech.
5. You’ve used the same knife to whittle a shiv, and threaten your Congressman.  
6. You have been asked to leave a yard sale.
7. You put the beatdown on your tattoo artist for spelling "MOM" backwards.
8. You hate government health care, and don’t want them to touch your Medicare.
9. The Rush Limbaugh show ended and you cried like John Boehner. 
2. Teabagger’s Leader Questions:
1. What is the smallest limb diameter that will support hanging your Congressman in effigy?
2. How many car radiators are necessary to condense 200 gallons of moonshine?
3. How long will it take your nine children to build a bomb shelter?
4. Going 60 miles an hour, for 12 hours, from your house, how long will it take you to get to Graceland?
5. If a man and woman get married in Texas and move to Washington D. C., are they still first cousins?
6. If your canon fuse is 15 ft. long, and it burns at 1 inch per second, how long does it take to reach the payload?
3. Teabagger’s Computer Vocabulary:
1. Backup – What you do when you run across a liberal in the woods.  
2. Bug – What you do to your Congressman at a town hall meeting.  
3. Byte – What your pit-bull did to your Barack Obama doll.
4. Chip – The smart son who can load a magazine in 32 seconds.  
5. Terminal – Socialist Amtrak station.  
6. Crash – When you go to a Starbucks Coffee by mistake.  
7. Digital – Counting to nine on your fingers.
8. Fax – Rush Limbaugh’s opinion.  
9. Hacker – Your wife after 26 years of smoking.
10. Hardcopy – Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
11. I nternet – Where you put your hair at work.
12. Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the Hummer.
13. Mac – Your favorite restaurant.
14. Megahertz – How your head feels after listening to "Barry".  
15. Modem – What you do to liberals who want socialist health care.  
16. Mousepad– Nancy Pelosi’s office
17. Network – Fox News.
18. PC – Losing your freedom of hate speech.
19. ROM – Where the pope lives.
20. Screen – Camouflaged netting to hide ammo stash.  
21. Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
22. Superconductor – Glenn Beck, but Lou Dobbs is getting better every day.  
23. SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – Your first cousin after sex.
24. WYSIWYG – 5.5  inches.
25. Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
4. Why did the teabagger fail his humanities test?        Because he took it.
5. Why did the teabagger cross the road?       Because Fox News told them to.
6. How many teabaggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. 36. One to screw in thw lighbulb, and 35 to protest the Obama Administration’s policy on creating darkness.
7. What is Teabagging?
8. Where did the term teabagging come from? 
1. John Waters popularized the term ‘teabagger or teabgging’ in the movie Pecker but did not invent it.
9. Distantly about teabagging. . . . The Republicans strip and form a huge naked pile – a gay sex orgy in an attempt to stop the Obama Socialist future – preventing themselves from reproducing.  A few Democrats come along, and start making some reasonable suggestions: resolving our differences with diplomacy, nuclear disarmament, economic stimulus, coming together, holding hands, singing Kumbaya.  People are starting to agree, then one of the Republicans interrupts saying “Wait! This is gay!”  “OK everyone, back in the pile!”
10. A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender, “Hey, have you heard the latest Teabagger joke?” The bartender replied, coldly, “No. And I’ll have you know I’m a Teabagger .”        That’s O. K.,” said the man, “I’ll talk slow.”
11. The Teabaggers were getting really pissed off about people telling all these Teabagger jokes so they decided to stage a march on Washington . . .          When last heard from they were 10 miles out of Seattle.
12. Teabagger’s Joke Book
13. Yet another Tea Bagger T-shirt

THE TEABAGGER by TheManticore666
Buy shirts at zazzle.com

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