It’s a mid term election year and you know what that means, Stimulus Payments, Pay offs will be coming out again soon!  If you ‘earned’ money and ‘paid’ taxes, you can expect a stimulus payment from the US government.  This stimulating payment will not only get you excited and help pay your Viagra and Ambien cocktail bill, it can help our country and the world avoid a global economic melt down, keeping all of us from going broke in a global depression.

Below you will find some FAQ’s of the 2010 Stimulus Payment Plan that are being circulated via email

Sometime this year,  we taxpayers will again receive another ‘Economic
Stimulus’ payment.
   This is indeed a very exciting program,  and I’ll explain it by
Using a Q & A format:
   Q.  What is an ‘Economic Stimulus’ payment ?
   A.  It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers..
   Q..  Where will the government get this money ?
   A.  From taxpayers.
   Q.  So the government is giving me back my own money ?
   A.  Only a smidgen of it.
   Q.  What is the purpose of this payment ?
   A.  The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a
High-definition TV set,  thus stimulating the economy.
   Q.  But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China ?
   A.  Shut up.
   Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. Economy by
Spending your stimulus check wisely:        
       *  If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,  the money will
Go to China or Sri Lanka .
       *  If you spend it on gasoline,  your money will go to the
Arabs.
       *  If you purchase a computer,  it will go to India , Taiwan or
China .  
       *  If you purchase fruit and vegetables,  it will go to Mexico ,
Honduras and Guatemala ..
       *  If you buy an efficient car,  it will go to Japan or Korea .
       *  If  you purchase useless stuff,  it will go to Taiwan .
       *  If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock,  it will go
To management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.
   Instead,  keep the money in America by:
   1)  Spending it at yard sales,  or      
   2)  Going to ball games,  or    
   3)  Spending it on prostitutes & strippers,  or      
   4)  Beer or      
   5) Tattoos.
   (These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )
   Conclusion:
   Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale and drink beer all day !
   No need to thank me,  I’m just glad I could be of help.