Viral Grape Vine

So you have been looking at viral videos, emails, blogs and websites all day and all night long.  You have absorbed all the creativity of thousands of people and you think you are ready to express your own creative side.

Where do you Begin?

Well, first you have to find something that interests you, Something you might be passionate about, something that will keep your attention no matter how low on Riddalin you might be right now.  We recommend you learn How to draw a Nude Woman.

Nude Women have been used for centuries to help men concentrate more.  They are regularly used in advertising and many literary publications such as Playboy, Hustler and Oui.  The nude female form has been designed by nature in fact to keep the attention of males. 

So as you are learning how to be creatively expressive, we recommend you go with the flow and learn how to draw a nude woman.  Its in your blood, its in your genetics, you know you want to do it. So this video will help you get started.  We’ll throw out the caveat that the first step is definitely the hardest.

Two women are being sought for their actions to against men in Home Depot parking lots in a trail that is leading men across the country from Home Depot to Home Depot in search of these women.  (Investigators are looking for them too.)

Their names are unknown, but the composite image below was put together after numerous victims perused a the Shirley of Hollywood lingerie collection online.  The models below are not the women in question, but they are dressed in a similar fashion and happen to have the same colored hair as the women in question.

Here is one victims account of his own suffering and his recommendation to others to help them as well.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen
to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to
look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th, 29th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.

Check out this goofy viral video of a chicken shooting pool by laying (rolling) an egg on a pool table.  The chicken is actually not too bad at pool.

On the down side the chicken welches on bets constantly and loses a lot of chalk, making it very difficult for other players to get a decent shot in if they follow the chicken. This has resulted in the chicken being fined by the World Pool Hall Association of America and the Billiards League of Great Britain.

This has not stopped the success of the chicken, which recently took on a sponsorship from Tide and several over the counter natural acne treatment solutions being marketed by J & J under a shell company out of Las Vegas.

Here is a cute little gift that you might just be able to afford with your rebate this year if the value of the dollar does not drop further.

But if the dollar keeps dropping, you will be lucky to view this image from your own broadband connection.

The IRS Pencil Sharpener

I’m from the IRS and I am here to help!

This is an image and caption from a recent viral email that I have received.  My own personal experience with IRS professionals has been very positive.  The IRS bureaucracy is definitely very problematic, but the people that keep that monster running are smart and talented.  Hopefully they get a laugh here from time to time to get through the day. 

A happy IRS agent has got to be good for everyone!

Kyra, filling in for Mr. Fab over at Pointless Drivel recently put the question to readers, are you addicted to underwear and what type of underwear do you like.  It seems that Kyra is a pantyholic or something.

Kyra writes, I’m addicted to underwear and, no… I’m not joking. I have a horrible urge to buy underwear pretty much all the time. If I’m in Target buying diapers or Scotch Tape I simply have to veer right and make a stop in the panty section where I will pick out about 80 pair at a time and buy them. I can’t help it.

So if you read the rest of Kyra’s article and the brazillion comments afterwards, you will realize that Kyra really likes panties (not thongs), and she’s not alone. 

Go figure

Well, I think as a counter point we should ask a question on the flip side.  What type of underwear is your least favorite or is something that you just can’t wear.

For example, I hate wearing Cock Socks!

Sure they are fun almost like a Chinese finger puzzle trap thing (stick fingers in from both ends and try and pull the suckers out.

You can do all sorts of neat tricks with cock socks almost like a yoyo and with similar names.

You can twirl it around the world, walk the dog, do a dirty sanchez, etc.

But the thing is that they don’t give you a lot of support and can increase chaffing.

Plus, when you are at work and have a cock sock, its very annoying hitting the urinal.  You have to go into the can, unzip your pants, pull your cock out, then pull off the damn cock sock.

Now if you really have to pee piss(more manly sounding), that can be a problem, because sometimes as soon as its free its going!

Don’t even get me started with putting the cock sock back on while in the restroom.  No guy wants to break urinal etiquette possible exception for Larry Craig, but you’ve just taken a leak, your possibly in a line with a couple other guys standing next to you at the urinal, and now . . .

and now, you have to pump things up a bit if you know what I mean so that you can get your cock sock back on!

I mean how awkward is that!

Oh don’t mind me, I’m just pumping my chicken to get my cock sock back on.

That shit just doesn’t fly at work.

Cock socks are also tough if you are on a road trip.  First while you are traveling the damn thing naturally starts to inch its way down your pant leg, but with a cock sick the tip can get caught in the folds of your jeans a bit.
Before you know it your shifting or hitting the break and your pants shift and hell all of a sudden your getting pinched and pulled when you should be keeping your eyes on the road and hands on the wheel.

That goes double if you are a school bus driver!

Now the real problem comes up when you stop at a rest station. 

You might get away with pumping yourself up a bit at work to get your cock sock back on.  Those ass holes already know how much of a freak you are after all, and most of them are 10 times worse!

But you go into a truck stop or rest area to let loose with 44 ounces of big gulp in a urinal that hasn’t been flushed since 1942 somewhere this side of Bad Ass, Texas and the first problem you have is keeping your Johnson from falling out into the putrid mess in the urinal.  But hell hath no fury like a truck driver named Honcho Geronimo Smith that ways 289, stands 6 foot 2 inches and glances over at you to see you pumping yourself up a bit with one hand while holding your cock sock in your teeth!

That shit’s either going to get you killed on the spot or gang raped over a toilet that makes the urinal look like a tidy bowl commercial.

This might be your last chance to get off the Red Eye Flight from Hell, but its going to cost you!

Presidential Long shot Mike Huckabee surprised a San Francisco audience today by coming out and declaring himself a homosexual in San Francisco.

“I have had this feeling ever since I can remember.  I was born this way and I am not going to hide it any longer.  I would also like to challenge my other Republican competitors to come clean and admit their homosexuality as well.  I’m pretty sure about John McCain, but I can attest that Mitt Romney and I have had an on again mostly off again love affair for over a decade.  They call him the Mitt due to his uncanny ability to provide a fantastic reach around.”

Mike Huckabee’s speech stunned his audience and his campaign staff with the exception of one young male staffer, who cried out, “Wooohooo!  I love you Hucky, I just love you to pieces.”

Mike Huckabee joins a long long list of both Conservative Republicans and Conservative Preachers who have come forward to admit their homosexuality.  It is surprising and inspiring that Huckabee would choose to come out in San Francisco and while campaigning for President. He later stated,

“I know where my base is.  I know who my base is.  The Republican Party has a fabulous base of great big homos like myself, and we don’t have to stand divided in the ranks any more.”

After closing off his comments, Huckabee then led reporters out of the hotel conference room and down the block where he entered a San Francisco bath house, pointed at an hulking bear of a man and ushered him upstairs with a nod.  He came back down about 45 minutes later looking refreshed and about 5 pounds lighter in the loafers.

Barack Obama just happened to be caught off guard by the press in Los Angeles while watching a news report of Huckabees speech and trist.  He was audibly overheard remarking,

“I always new that Mitt was a well put together man, but I would have never seen this coming . . . Hey, Hey that’s Jeremy Toobins!”  He then looked around and left the vicinity immediately.

Reporters later learned that the bearish man that Mike Huckabee met in the bathhouse was none other than Jeremy Toobins of Hawaii, a former class mate of Barack Obama at an elite high school on the island.

The eruptions within the Republican party did not end with Huckabee in that bathhouse either.  Pat Buchanan was speaking during an interview when producers shut off his microphone.  He could be heard yelling,

“They are taking over the whole F***$#@  party.  Its started with that F@* George W Bush, and now it has spread throughout the ranks.  I’m gonna fly straight to Georgia and Kick Newt Gingrich right in the nuts.  I’ll bet you a million dollars that he knew about this one too and didn’t  . . .”