I’m with stupid Topics & Videos

Like you I too received a friend recommendation from Facebook this week. My old friend Euphoric Flagellations finally got around to setting up their own Facebook account.  Unfortunately, they do not have any friends yet, not public ones anyway.  I was certainly not going to be Euphoric Fagellations first friend but I know the more daring of you will consider it.  So if you have been looking for a fell good, mercy friending opportunity, knock yourself out!

The pregnant turkey joke has been floating around the internet for close to 15 years now even though experts claim it dates back to 2000 because most internet experts were still in grade school in the 1990’s and sufficient records from that ancient time were not maintained.

Thanksgiving Prank First Played on the Pilgrims

Before that it had been a viral joke passed from person to person on xeroxed sheets of paper. The actual turkey joke dates back to the 1600’s when Native American tribes in the North East United States and Canada successfully, but temporarily convinced settlers that the turkey could both lay eggs and give live birth. That initial attempt to take measure of the pilgrims sense of humor, failed. It ultimately spurred the anti-abortion movement, triggered a national holiday we now call Thanksgiving, and torpedoed Benjamin Franklin’s attempts to have the Turkey named as the National Bird of the United States instead of the Eagle, who would never consider an abortion.

Here is the recent incarnation of the Pregnant Turkey that has circumnavigated the globe many times over

Pregnant Turkey Joke

One year at Thanksgiving, my mom went to my sister’s house for the traditional feast. Knowing how gullible my sister is, my mom decided to play a trick. She told my sister that she needed something from the store.

When my sister left, my mom took the turkey out of the oven, removed the stuffing, stuffed a Cornish hen, and inserted it into the turkey, and e-stuffed the turkey. She then placed the bird(s) back in the oven.

When it was time for dinner, my sister pulled the turkey out of the oven and proceeded to remove the stuffing. When her serving spoon hit something, she reached in and pulled out the little bird.

With a look of total shock on her face, my mother exclaimed, “Patricia, you’ve cooked a pregnant bird!” At the reality of this horrifying news, my sister started to cry.

It took the family two hours to convince her that turkeys lay eggs!

Yep………………SHE’S BLONDE!

Well today the pregnant turkey prank has taken on a new life as family after family recreates the joke and shares it on YouTube. You can see in the videos below that Americans are still very very gullible when it comes to talking turkey, biology, and having their buttons pushed by family and friends.

Pregnant Turkey Prank Videos

Then there are those that decide to permanently scare their children for the rest of their lives.

Some people might guess that the fix is in when their family members start falling over with laughter before the punch line hits

Now as we go venture forward corporate hollywood types are even cooking up more ridiculous ways to stuff a turkey (insert cornish hen here)

Then again sometimes the professional turkey video shooters do wrestle up a pretty funny video

Some Turkey Jokes However just stink

(VGV) – 34 minutes ago

MOUNT MERAPI, Indonesia – For 33 years, Maridjan spoke to Mount Merapi, believing he could appease its unpredictable spirits by throwing offerings of rice, clothes and chickens into the volcano’s gaping crater.  He also believed that one day he could win the highest known award known to nut jobs around the world, The Darwin Award.

Many villagers took his word — not that of government officials or seismologists — as the last on when it would erupt. And the 83-year-old did appear to predict the volcano’s latest eruption — which killed 33 people this week, including himself and some that were waiting for his command to leave the volcano.

As Merapi began spewing 1,800 degree Fahrenheit (1,000 Celsius) gases and thousands of villagers streamed down the mountain’s slopes, Maridjan began spewing prayers and counting his chickens in preparation for more innocent animal sacrifices that some believe should no longer be allowed in Islam.  Maridjan refused to budge, and more than a dozen people stayed, and perished, with him.

His rigid body was found Wednesday, prostrate on the ground in the typical Islamic prayer position and caked in heavy white soot.

His selfless act to remove himself from the human gene pool, while simultaneously encouraging others of even lesser mind to join him.  His lifelong dedication to lunacy culminating in his effort to remove himself from the gene pool, would have quickly qualified him for a nomination in the 2010 Darwin Awards, but his extra effort to pull others over the precipice with him helped make his nomination a shoe in (not to mention a quick nomination for asshole of the year).

On Thursday, high-profile politicians, soap opera stars, singers and hundreds of family and followers cheered at his funeral when it was announced on the slopes of the mountain that had been entrusted to his care by a crazy late king that Maridjan was indeed on a fast track to victory presuming that Lindsay Lohan survives the year without a love child surfacing.

"I never thought he was going to leave us in such a way," said Prabukusumo, the brother of the sultan in the nearby court city of Yogyakarta who is now tasked with choosing his successor. "He’s lived through so many, much bigger eruptions. I’m still in shock."

But a friend said Maridjan seemed to be expecting his death.

When asked by his close friend, Wansafyudin, days before the eruption if it might not be better to leave, he refused, according to the English-language Jakarta Globe newspaper.

"My time to die in this place and reap the rewards of the Darwin Committee has almost come," he reportedly said.

Indonesia, the world’s largest archipelago, is located on the so-called "Ring of Fire," a series of fault lines that are prone to earthquakes and volcanic activity stretching from the Western Hemisphere through Japan and Southeast Asia.

Merapi is one of the world’s most active mountains.

When he was 50, Maridjan inherited the position of "key holder" of the mountain from his father, receiving the official appointment from the sultan of Yogyakarta.

The mystical practice persists in Indonesia, even though most of the country’s 237 million people are Muslims. Islam is a relatively liberal new arrival to the country and, in many areas, coexists with older traditions that have their roots in animist, Hindu or Buddhist belief.

Maridjan was believed by many to have the ability to speak directly to the mountain and led ceremonies every year to hold back its lava flows by throwing rice, clothes and chickens into its dome.

Many villagers saw him as a hero, believing him over government officials and seismologists when it came to determining Merapi’s danger levels. But he was a constant source of frustration for those tasked with overseeing evacuations.

Among the 14 other people found dead in and around his home, halfway up the mountain, was an Indonesian Red Cross volunteer who was trying to persuade him to leave.  Indonesian Red Cross volunteers unlike their American counterparts are not trained in Darwin Award Nominee evacuation efforts.  In short, you don’t try to evacuate those who would be nominated, you just get as far away from them as possible.

Indonesia promises to eclipse many countries of the world in offering up future Darwin Award Nominees as well.  After, Maridjan’s death and Merapi’s continuing eruption, many villagers only yearn for his quicker replacement, if not an opportunity themselves.

"I’m more afraid than ever," said Prapto Wiyono, a 60-year-old farmer from the village of Pangukrejo, who was among thousands of people crammed in an emergency shelters. "Who’s going to tell us now what’s going on with Merapi?  First we lost our psychic mongoose who foretold the future by spitting cobra eyes in a bowl and now we have lost Maridjan.  I fear for myself, my children and my grandchildren.  We live in troubling times."

inspired by reality

This is only to be used before either telling your friend to go F*&) off or even more extreme before you actually Unfriend them on Facebook!

Unfriended

Christmas has come early for California Males as a new study indicates that Marijuana can essentially be used as a means of birth control.  Like the pill, using marijuana to decrease the effectiveness of sperm is not fool proof but most marijuana users that have been polled recently didn’t care and thought it was ‘cool’.

‘So what if my sperm can’t get my girlfriend pregnant. Dude, this is the best news I’ve heard since medical marijuana was legalized in the first place!’ Zed Farley of Los Angeles.

The correlation between marijuana and male infertility was initially seen as a negative.  Within 24 hours of the reports of the sperm propulsion study at the University of California, doctors office up and down the state were deluged with patients seeking justification to use medical marijuana for birth control.

Summary of the Science Behind Marijuana as Birth Control

According to a research team at the University of California, San Francisco, sperm needs to relax before being deployed. This means they have to cease wagging their tails (flagella) in order to avoid fatigue, thus significantly decreasing their chances of finding an egg.

Scientists report that the activity of the sperm is based upon their acidic level, but researchers from the University found the passage that enables the sperm to release microscopic particles.

Once the tiny cells are in the female reproductive tract, the proton shedding converts their internal atmosphere from a pH (acidic) reading to an alkaline environment, and they begin their race to the egg, according to the experts.

Read more: Marijuana May Be Tied to Male Infertility – All Headline News

Medical practitioners were quick to point out that smoking marijuana will not decrease the transmission of sexually transmitted disease.  However, they do not refute the fact that if a person does contract a sexually transmitted diseases and subsequently become depressed, marijuana may help after the fact.

Related Viewing Marijuana Birth Control

They say this is in Europe and the trucks look European, but I swear I’ve seen people drive like that in South Florida too.

I’ve never been much for year end look backs.  My reasons are best summed up with the overly used phrase, been there seen that or something equally asinine.  Fortunately, Rocket Boom spent their big budget productions dollars to provide an example of why look backs are a waste of time.