Viral Brands Topics & Videos
Shake Weight Hand Job Exercise Video-Starts Slow Builds to Hilarious Climax
One of the funniest Shake Weight Parody videos on YouTube.
“In just 6 weeks you’ll be strong enough to jerk off a rhinoceros”
New Toyota Sales Promotion Taglines
- Toyota – We’ll Get you to work faster! Like it or not
- Toyota – Providing Speeding Ticket Alibis for over 40 years
- Toyota- Cruise control was never more automated
- Toyota—You’ll never test drive another car, after you test drive a Prius.
- Prius—We’re fighting the root cause of global warming with our new Prius accelerator design. Its wiping out the real source of emissions, You!
- Toyota Public Service Message – We at Toyota want you to phone your Congressman and demand an increase to speed limits so that your new Toyota can travel at the speeds it was designed to travel at, when it wants to travel at that speed.
- Toyota – Moving forward whether you like it or not
- Toyota Customer Reviews – I’m in my Toyota now, I’d love to stop and help you but I can’t stop
- Toyota on the Recall—We’re sure you recall when we made great cars.
- Toyota–For those who like to go everywhere flat out.
- Toyota—Get Ready for the ride of your life!
- Toyota—With all new super glue throttle control
Now for a quick sponsor image…
Additional Toyota Jokes in the News
- "Toyota’s slogan is ‘Moving Forward’ — they don’t say anything in there about stopping." –Stephen Colbert on the Comedy Channel’s The Colbert Report.
- "Over the next two weeks, we’re going to have the Winter Olympics. … They’re doing something this year that is going to add a little more excitement. All the bobsleds are made by Toyota." — NBC’s Jay Leno.
- "Critics of the automobile industry are saying that Toyota executives knew about the problems with the brakes years and years ago. And they’re wondering … why did they drag their feet? Well, trying to stop the car. That’s what they were doing." — CBS’ David Letterman.
- "The recall is so scary that as he is driving to work: The navigation lady was actually praying." — Also from Letterman
- "To make sure Bill Clinton’s heart doesn’t stop, doctors put in a special pacemaker made by Toyota." — Gary B. at Dailycomedy.com
- "Toyota should borrow the ad slogan from Energizer batteries: "It keeps going and going." — Cara Tramontano on DailyComedy.com, with some massaging by Drive On.
- "The new model from Toyota this spring, the Toyota Apology: It gets two repair shops to the gallon" — Bix Brillo on DailyComedy.com
- "What do Toyota and Tiger Woods have in common? They both don’t know when to stop."
Toyota Jokers on Twitter
"Toyota (acronym) This One You Oughta Tow Away." – @vizmagnafarta
"Toyota – Putting the "liability" in "reliability."" – @standupfalldown
The Perfect Warning Gift for that Facebook Friend that Keeps Sending You Farmville Crap
This is only to be used before either telling your friend to go F*&) off or even more extreme before you actually Unfriend them on Facebook!
Top 14 iPad Spoof tshirts
“I’m not buying an iPad until they release one with wings”
“I can’t wait for the ‘I’m an iPad / I’m a Maxi-Pad’ commercials”
“iPad Nothing! My boobs are really this big”
OMGWTF iPAD Packaged up nice and neat
“Steve Jobs Wants YOu”
I’m not going to make fun of the iPad
I’ll just wait for the iTampon to leak
iPaddy in time for St Patty’s Day
“Not Flashy”
iTits
iPaddy Ladies t-shirt
iPaddy St Patty’s day poster for your bar or party
Screw wearing iPad t-shirts when you can wear an iHottie tank top
iBored with the whole thing
Merry Christmas from Viral Grape Vine
We may share stupid viral things from time to time, but we don’t produce scary creepy stuff like this.
Twitter’s Latest Post Fail Whale Message Kind of Sucks
The glory of web 2.0 is that it fails and breaks just as much and as often as that old crappy web 1.0. The big difference is that you can see it fail, break and generally suck while you and your friends watch.
Plus, in a throw back to champions of pastels, you can watch it suck with mild looking colors and rounded corners. No service lives quite up to the utter suckiness of w
eb 2.0 like the current king of web 2.0, twitter.
Where did Twitter Get Its Name?
Twitter is a serviced named by many accounts after a homeless man who died on the a silicon valley curb while a mob of computer geek nerds took cell phone pictures and text messaged their friends to remark on his last death convulsions. Not a single sucky uber geek lifted a hand to save the bum, not a single geek called 911, but 430 text messages were generated from that situation from a small group of 30 people waiting for a green bus.
Ironically, none of the 430 text messages were sent to anyone outside of the group watching. While the poor bum twittered and jerked for the last time on this earth, the crowd of texting Poindexters were engaged in a mental sms circle jerk described by the most enterprising nerd as a twitter.
This was the conception of what would later become the most pointless web 2.0 application ever.
Meineke Brake Complaints? – Talk to God
Have a problem with your Meineke car care service or brakes? Talk to God, its the Meineke way. Ask about the Pearly Plan and Meineke may even put you on a fast track to talk to God. You might say that they will not put any brakes in your way . . .
Bill Gates Releases Mosquitoes Under Tag and Release Program at TED
Bill Gates used to be living and breathing geek. He created the most successful software company in history. He was accused of gaming the hardware business. Bill Gates was a ruthless SOB accused of just about everything short of online predatory spiritual masturbation.
He is also one of my heroes.
In a wide-ranging love fest during the opening session of TED, the passion-provoking conference being held in Long Beach this week, Gates gave the crowd a glimpse of the new Bill Gates and he gave them the willies. No, he didn’t introduce Bill Clinton holding a cigar.
Instead, Gates zeroed in on those three topics keeping him awake at night: How his foundation is going about eradicating malaria around the globe, how America can develop and retain quality teachers, and how hot Hermione looks when breast implant simulations are run on with a Microsoft Table Top computer. On all fronts, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is making strides, despite losing nearly 30 percent of its nest egg in the recent market downturn and complaints from Melinda that Bill is playing with his Table Top computer too much late into the night.
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Today, Bill Gates spends his waking hours worrying about gaming malaria, education and the tech Paparazzi. It’s all part of his new life as the world’s most influential prankster, spreading billions of dollars just to screw with people that want to keep the world in the dark ages.
That was never more evident than we he let loose a plague of mosquitoes on the tech paparazzi gathered in the audience hoping to virally transmit every word that he said, every goofy look captured in a picture and more.
The poor fools never knew what hit them. Gates opened a container of mosquitoes that promptly flew out into the audience and started chomping down their first meal of the week, reporter geek blood.
Gates was demonstrating the new ‘Catch and Release’ Virus fighting system that his foundation is secretly contemplating. Under the program malaria infected mosquitoes would be captured and then released in rich countries that are typically not endangered by Malaria. The plan works on two levels. First, the mosquitoes would infect more people in total and possibly infect a person that might ultimately evolve a defense against Malaria which could then be spread back through the mosquito population. The second alternative is that enough ‘rich’ people countries would become infected and then spend enough money to find a solution that could ultimately be sold to the third world at a massive profit.
See the original article at Bill Gates sees ’3, 4, 5′ tough years
Geico Lizard – RIP
The Geico Gecko (lizard) of commercial auto insurance fame has passed away. Apparently, a fellow actor became violently distraught over being upstaged by the green lizard and attacked.
Many on-lookers initially didn’t recognize the attack for what it was. This all took place during a scene where the Geico Lizard was supposed to be picked up by the scruff (skin) of his neck in a fashion common for kittens and puppies.
Filming for the first scenes or commercial episodes featuring the lizard looking for motherly love in all the wrong places went just fine with an actual dog and an actual trained cat. Unfortunately, a hawk with a bit of a temper and a beak to grind against Geico relating to a hit and run windshield incident, ended in disaster for the lizard and a meager meal for the bird,when the bird, promptly snapped the neck of the famous lizard with the annoying accent.
Geico Lizard
Born: 1999
Died: December 3, 2008
The GEICO Gecko leaves behind a wife, 4 kids, and 43 tails of various lengths.
News Source: Some viral email that a friend sent me. I believe it is true, but I could be mistaken. He normally sends me funny pornographic images.
UPDATE
It has come to our attention that the death of the GEICO Gecko is indeed inaccurate as we guessed above. Apparently, this is not the first time that reports of the death of the Gecko from GEICO have been exagerated. Below is a news report from 2006, accusing the AFLAC Duck of shooting the Gecko Geico.
For the record the AFLAC duck was cleared of the shooting (which was not fatal for the Gecko Geico but did remove his 38th tail as a casualty). The AFLAC duck was cleared as he does not have an opposable thumb, which is necessary to pull the trigger on a gun.
Macs are For Girls Too!
That happened to a buddy of mine when he was giving a reach around to his machine trying to plug in a video camera, but I guess that’s just part of the MacLife.
One minute your dancing away in white silhouette to a trippy background with an itune in your ears and the next minute you are bent over your laptop getting plugged with firewire.
All that said, it doesn’t mean that just because your machine is metrotechnical that you as a metrotechnical stroker have to be gay.
Macs are for girls too! In fact, Mac seems to give girls all the REALLY useful gadgets.
Don’t just give your favorite girl diamonds or Tahitian pearls, give her a Mac Tonight.
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