One of the funniest Shake Weight Parody videos on YouTube.

“In just 6 weeks you’ll be strong enough to jerk off a rhinoceros”

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1. Toyota – We’ll Get you to work faster!  Like it or not
2. Toyota – Providing Speeding Ticket Alibis for over 40 years
3. Toyota- Cruise control was never more automated
4. Toyota—You’ll never test drive another car, after you test drive a Prius.
5. Prius—We’re fighting the root cause of global warming with our new Prius accelerator design.  Its wiping out the real source of emissions, You!
6. Toyota Public Service Message – We at Toyota want you to phone your Congressman and demand an increase to speed limits so that your new Toyota can travel at the speeds it was designed to travel at, when it wants to travel at that speed.
7. Toyota – Moving forward whether you like it or not
8. Toyota Customer Reviews – I’m in my Toyota now, I’d love to stop and help you but I can’t stop
9. Toyota on the Recall—We’re sure you recall when we made great cars.
10. Toyota–For those who like to go everywhere flat out.
11. Toyota—Get Ready for the ride of your life!
12. Toyota—With all new super glue throttle control

Now for a quick sponsor image…

Additional Toyota Jokes in the News

• "Toyota’s slogan is ‘Moving Forward’ — they don’t say anything in there about stopping." –Stephen Colbert on the Comedy Channel’s The Colbert Report.
• "Over the next two weeks, we’re going to have the Winter Olympics. … They’re doing something this year that is going to add a little more excitement. All the bobsleds are made by Toyota." — NBC’s Jay Leno.
• "Critics of the automobile industry are saying that Toyota executives knew about the problems with the brakes years and years ago. And they’re wondering … why did they drag their feet? Well, trying to stop the car. That’s what they were doing." — CBS’ David Letterman.
• "The recall is so scary that as he is driving to work: The navigation lady was actually praying." — Also from Letterman

• "To make sure Bill Clinton’s heart doesn’t stop, doctors put in a special pacemaker made by Toyota." — Gary B. at Dailycomedy.com
• "Toyota should borrow the ad slogan from Energizer batteries: "It keeps going and going." — Cara Tramontano on DailyComedy.com, with some massaging by Drive On.
• "The new model from Toyota this spring, the Toyota Apology: It gets two repair shops to the gallon" — Bix Brillo on DailyComedy.com
• "What do Toyota and Tiger Woods have in common?  They both don’t know when to stop."

Toyota Jokers on Twitter

"Toyota (acronym) This One You Oughta Tow Away." – @vizmagnafarta

"Toyota – Putting the "liability" in "reliability."" – @standupfalldown

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This is only to be used before either telling your friend to go F*&) off or even more extreme before you actually Unfriend them on Facebook!

Unfriended

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iPad with wings

“I’m not buying an iPad until they release one with wings”

I’m an iPad / I’m a Maxi-Pad

“I can’t wait for the ‘I’m an iPad / I’m a Maxi-Pad’ commercials”

iPad Nothing! My Boobs Really Are This Big Tshirt

“iPad Nothing! My boobs are really this big”

Ipad

OMGWTF iPAD Packaged up nice and neat

Steve Wants YOU

“Steve Jobs Wants YOu”

iPad/iTampon

I’m not going to make fun of the iPad

I’ll just wait for the iTampon to leak

iPaddy iPad (Leprechaun)

iPaddy in time for St Patty’s Day

Not Flashy

“Not Flashy”

idouche 

iTits

iPaddy iPad (Shamrock)

iPaddy Ladies t-shirt

iPaddy iPad (Shamrock)

iPaddy St Patty’s day poster for your bar or party

iHottie

Screw wearing iPad t-shirts when you can wear an iHottie tank top

iBored (dark)

iBored with the whole thing

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We may share stupid viral things from time to time, but we don’t produce scary creepy stuff like this.

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The glory of web 2.0 is that it fails and breaks just as much and as often as that old crappy web 1.0.  The big difference is that you can see it fail, break and generally suck while you and your friends watch.

Plus, in a throw back to champions of pastels, you can watch it suck with mild looking colors and rounded corners.  No service lives quite up to the utter suckiness of web 2.0 like the current king of web 2.0, twitter.

Where did Twitter Get Its Name?

Twitter is a serviced named by many accounts after a homeless man who died on the a silicon valley curb while a mob of computer geek nerds took cell phone pictures and text messaged their friends to remark on his last death convulsions.  Not a single sucky uber geek lifted a hand to save the bum, not a single geek called 911, but 430 text messages were generated from that situation from a small group of 30 people waiting for a green bus.

Ironically, none of the 430 text messages were sent to anyone outside of the group watching.  While the poor bum twittered and jerked for the last time on this earth, the crowd of texting Poindexters were engaged in a mental sms circle jerk described by the most enterprising nerd as a twitter.

This was the conception of what would later become the most pointless web 2.0 application ever.

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Have a problem with your Meineke car care service or brakes?  Talk to God, its the Meineke way.  Ask about the Pearly Plan and Meineke may even put you on a fast track to talk to God.  You might say that they will not put any brakes in your way . . .

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