Viral Celebrities Topics & Videos
SC Gov Mark Sanford Announces he is Michael Jackson’s Biggest Fan, Now
South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford just wants everyone to know that he is Michael Jackson’s biggest fan.
“Next to Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, the Iranian People and those crazy North Korean bastards, there is no one I love more right now than Michael Jackson . . ., . . I mean my wife and family and then Michael Jackson, those crazy North Korean bastards, the Iranian People, Farrah Fawcett and Ed McMahon.” the governor reportedly stated as observed by a blind, deaf and dumb witness in the Governor’s office.
Next to Sony Records, Governor Mark Sanford probably has the most to gain from the media super blitz that is still ramping up even as this is typed.
Ben Bernanke and Wall Street are both happy campers too. PR consultants around the world are scrambling to have their clients come forward with any and all bad news right now at this point in history where everything else is going to be ignored until after the 4th of July.
Separately, Osama Bin Laden is furious, still.
‘Hey Let go of that!’ – Now Farrah Fawcett Gets to Watch You!
After billions of posters sold, the late Farrah Fawcett now will get a chance to turn the tables on a world full of jerk offs. Now, every time someone attempts the thinkable, while gazing at Farrah’s famous swimsuit image, Farrah might just be gazing back from the great unknown.
Don’t fool yourself into thinking that lets you off the hook for your necrophilia yearnings. She’s gone now, just let that one go sicko….
Michael Vick’s Defecation Problem:Neighbor’s Stage Revolting Revolt
Michael Vick may be out of jail but the shit storm has just started, literally almost. Michael Vick’s unwilling neighbors have staged a revolting revolt against the presence of furloughed federal prisoner Vick, who admitted guilt 19 months ago.
Neighbors have spent the last several days parading their dogs past Vick’s modest home in Virginia encouraging the pets to defecate on Vick’s lawn, drive way and sidewalk. This resulted in a relatively crappy welcome home and caused one of Vick’s parole officers to remove and clean her shoes after stepping in a nasty mess while walking with Vick to test his new ankle bracelet. Security guards armed with cones, barricades and pooper scoopers are now on patrol to fend off the neighbors and dogs, although a spokesperson stated that the guards are there primarily to keep dogs at a safe distance from the prisoner.
Twitter Beats Main Stream Media to Reports of Britney Spears Demise
People Are Rapidly Tuning Out Cable News for Twitter when it Comes to Breaking News Reports
Twitter Users were among the first people to share and see reports of the death of Britney Spears. Reports were filtering in through Twitter that Spears had passed away from an apparent overdose. Meanwhile cable news channels such as MSNBC and CNN continued to run reports about Michelle Obama’s clothing and the Presidential visit with Queen Elizabeth.
The death of Spears as reported on Twitter marks another episode in news, much like the plane that landed in the Husdon River where people standing near an event are better able to share details than any news organization in the world.
Spears was found catatonic in a restroom within the famous restaurant Genghis Cohn in Los Angeles. Patrons eating lunch were witnessed snapping pictures of paramedics removing Spears on stretchers. They did not appear to attempt any resuscitation while moving her out through the main restaurant.
Several people also uploaded images of what appeared to be lines of cocaine on the restroom counter.
There has been no official word from officials in Los Angeles nor from Spears family.
Geithner Looks Like Evil Mentat from Dune
Treasury Secretary Geithner bares a remarkable resemblance to the evil mentat Piter De Vries from the 1984 movie Dune. He even bears a loose resemblance to the coked up John Belushi (lower right).
In Dune, it is established that De Vries had pioneered a type of toxin called "residual poison" which remains in the body for years and requires an antidote to be administered regularly. One such fatal poison is secretly administered by the Harkonnens to Thufir Hawat, the Mentat of House Atreides, in order to keep Hawat’s allegiance as the only provider of the antidote[1] (in the 1984 movie version, it is shown that Hawat has to milk a gruesome captive cat for the antidote every day).
De Vries is generally regarded as architect of the plan to destroy House Atreides, long-time enemy of the Harkonnens, while restoring the Baron’s stewardship over the planet Arrakis. Wellington Yueh, the Atreides Suk doctor who betrays Duke Leto Atreides, gives the captured Leto a false tooth containing a poisonous gas. When the tooth is crushed, intended victim Baron Harkonnen escapes, but Leto and De Vries die.[1]
Fortunately Treasury Secretary Geithner is not in a position to provide evil advice to a leader of our world. . . . . or is he????
Neither leader above is looking to well after working with their respective mentat counselors above.
Bill Gates Releases Mosquitoes Under Tag and Release Program at TED
Bill Gates used to be living and breathing geek. He created the most successful software company in history. He was accused of gaming the hardware business. Bill Gates was a ruthless SOB accused of just about everything short of online predatory spiritual masturbation.
He is also one of my heroes.
In a wide-ranging love fest during the opening session of TED, the passion-provoking conference being held in Long Beach this week, Gates gave the crowd a glimpse of the new Bill Gates and he gave them the willies. No, he didn’t introduce Bill Clinton holding a cigar.
Instead, Gates zeroed in on those three topics keeping him awake at night: How his foundation is going about eradicating malaria around the globe, how America can develop and retain quality teachers, and how hot Hermione looks when breast implant simulations are run on with a Microsoft Table Top computer. On all fronts, the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation is making strides, despite losing nearly 30 percent of its nest egg in the recent market downturn and complaints from Melinda that Bill is playing with his Table Top computer too much late into the night.
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Today, Bill Gates spends his waking hours worrying about gaming malaria, education and the tech Paparazzi. It’s all part of his new life as the world’s most influential prankster, spreading billions of dollars just to screw with people that want to keep the world in the dark ages.
That was never more evident than we he let loose a plague of mosquitoes on the tech paparazzi gathered in the audience hoping to virally transmit every word that he said, every goofy look captured in a picture and more.
The poor fools never knew what hit them. Gates opened a container of mosquitoes that promptly flew out into the audience and started chomping down their first meal of the week, reporter geek blood.
Gates was demonstrating the new ‘Catch and Release’ Virus fighting system that his foundation is secretly contemplating. Under the program malaria infected mosquitoes would be captured and then released in rich countries that are typically not endangered by Malaria. The plan works on two levels. First, the mosquitoes would infect more people in total and possibly infect a person that might ultimately evolve a defense against Malaria which could then be spread back through the mosquito population. The second alternative is that enough ‘rich’ people countries would become infected and then spend enough money to find a solution that could ultimately be sold to the third world at a massive profit.
See the original article at Bill Gates sees ’3, 4, 5′ tough years
Stars come out for Obama’s Balls
Revelers in black tie and gowns toasted Barack Obama at his balls celebrating his first night as President. Big balls and parties are a time-honored tradition even in these lean economic times.
The President and First lady Michelle Obama will twirl their way through 10 sets of official balls Tuesday night with an all-star ensemble backing them up, starting with a serenade of Etta James’ "At Last" by Beyonce. Across Washington, there were at least a dozen other unofficial balls where partiers were letting it all hang down even without an appearance from the new first pair.
Most of the ladies wore black like their dates, but Patrick Landers was an exception in his kilt at one of Biden’s balls. The 33-year-old Washington attorney moved to the United States from Ireland in 1998.
"I’m here to celebrate this great day and the beginning of my transformation into a female in the company of the United States and the rest of the world watching my surgery live on internet web cans," Landers probably didn’t say. Sources later confirmed that he definitely did not say that at all.
Not everyone was so thrilled about all the balls. Singer Sheryl Crow, doing a sound check for a performance said she was ball sick.
"I have not seen my balls in four days. I’m miserable," she told her band between songs according to a famous misquoter.
Despite the formal attire and celebrity entertainment, balls aren’t overly fancy appendages. Lines often are long and joined by round clusters of people waiting to get in, go to the bathroom or check or scratch their balls and the food is heavy on vegetables with bleu cheese dip.
In a sign of the financial times, guests who already paid anywhere from $75 for a ticket to thousands more for a package deal had to buy their own drinks. Beer went for $6 and cocktails for $9. Rocky Mountain Oysters were free mixed in with beer nuts at most of the bars.
Gregory O’Dell, a spokesman for the Washington Convention Center, said every inauguration is different, but several administrations in the past have offered free drinks with their balls.
"I think they were focused on being cost sensitive, obviously with the economy,” and the demand and size of these balls he indicated.
The room was quite chilly at one Ball, where Rep. Dennis Kucinich, D-Ohio, and his famous wife, Elizabeth, huddled close and held hands trying not to shrivel. Asked what she most looked forward to at the inaugural ball this evening, Mrs. Kucinich joked, "Getting my coat."
The Obama’s first stop, an event for D.C. locals, will be broadcast on ABC with performances by Beyonce and her husband Jay-Z, will.i.am, Mariah Carey, Alicia Keys, Shakira, Sting, Faith Hill, Mary J. Blige, Stevie Wonder and Maroon 5.
Then it’s off to Obama’s Balls for Illinois and Hawaii with Jack Johnson and Common performing; the Commander in Chief Balls for the armed forces with Jon Bon Jovi headlining an event to be broadcast to troops overseas, and then Youth Balls with Kanye West, Kid Rock and Fall Out Boy to be broadcast on MTV.
Obama and Vice President Joe Biden also will join sacks to attend the balls for Biden’s home states and five sets of regional balls, with performers including The Dead, Marc Anthony and James Taylor, all of whom have famous balls.
In the past, inaugural balls have tended to be awkward looking. The president and first lady take to the dance floor before thousands of supporters, twirl around awkwardly, then wave goodbye and move on to the next set.
In 2001, reporters timed George W. Bush’s forays onto the dance floor at each of nine balls. His first was 29 seconds. The longest stretch: 67 seconds. Laura later commented that 68 seconds was the longest George ever utilized his balls.
"I confess I’m not the world greatest lover of balls, but you’re going to have to suffer through it," he told the crowd.
But expect a bit more from Obama and his wife, who have already danced at the concert at the Lincoln Memorial and were willing to shake it on national TV with Ellen DeGeneres, which initially earned Obama a swift kick in the balls from Michelle until Chris Mathews later went on the same show and man handled Ellen. Ellen later commented, “Can you believe the balls on that guy!”
You can read the original story without all the balls at The Associated Press: Stars come out for Obama’s inaugural balls
David Duchovny Pulls Out of Sex Rehab –‘Just in Time!’
Image by www.YoVenice.com via Flickr
David Duchovny has reportedly pulled out of Sex Rehab, ‘Just in Time’ according to a ‘special female’ at a local Sex Rehab clinic in California that chose to remain anonymous.
“If he had stayed in a moment longer, it would have probably been too late! I told him, ‘Stop, Stop Stop!’ Pull Out Now. If I get pregnant in sex rehab again, my parents will kill me!” stated a voluptuous blonde aspiring actress who has never ‘worked’ with Duchovny on the big screen and probably won’t for at least another 8-10 years.
Duchovny’s attorney claims that David is cured and ready to go back to work on his next film Wild Orchids 15 – Attack of the Nymphomaniac where David is expected to be tapped as the lead star who is relentlessly attacked on a deserted island by the women’s volleyball team. The team and Duchovny’s character had been traveling back from the Beijing Olympics when their plane crashed near a remote island and David and the girls were the only survivors, but the island seems to be inhabited by ‘Others’ and at least one Polar Bear.
X-Files star David Duchovny leaves sex rehab | Entertainment | Reuters
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The Hasselhoff Muppet
There is no doubt that everyone remembers the drunken David Hasselhoff video that surfaced sometime last year. Well, here is a fabulous Muppet version of that fateful tape.
Darth Vader Calls The Emperor
After watching some Adult Swim videos on Youtube, I came across this Star Wars classic. My favorite part of this video is at about 1:50 when the Emperor goes off on Vader about rebuilding the Death Star. Great video, another Seth MacFarlane classic!
Is it just me…
Is it just me, or does the count sound like he needs to get out of that castle and meet a nice muppet.
Starbuck’s needs brand advice.
Another one of those California Right Wing Christian Conservative groups.
There are so many in California critically known as the Right Coast by people that face globes while standing on their heads.
This group called the Resistance is calling for a boycott of Starbucks due to their recycling of an old Starbucks logo.
The Resistance says the new image "has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute," Mark Dice, founder of the group.
For those that are curious about the background of The Resistance and founder Mark Dice, he is the illegitimate love child of Juan Valdez and Linda Lovelace, who had a dark steamy and hyper love affair in the heady days of the seventies as both Lovelace and Valdez experienced a climatic career crescendo. Valdez worked as a coffee bean picker in Columbia before later investing in cocaine fields and retiring to the Outer Banks and Lovelace redefined the porn industry with her exposure of techniques that had previously been held underground. Both Juan and Linda later gave up their stage names. They also both came to a bad end. Linda was a porn star heroine that later became an unhappy mother troubled by her past. Juan was a victim of the Bush War on Drugs. Both ironically passed away at about the same time, but their memories will live on in film for eternity, or at least as long as YouTube Remains online.
More on the original story here
http://www.startribune.com/…69709.html
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