A lady picked up several items at a discount store. When she finally got up to the checker, she learned that one of her items had no price tag.

Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the intercom and boomed out for the entire store to hear, " PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE."

That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back over the intercom.

"DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"

Diane E. Amov

I saw this image sent virally in emails several time this last week, then I saw it on Facebook too.  Its not right, but its funny.  Probably, a lot funnier if you are there for the picture (with orders to ship home immediately).

Maybe you sometimes ask the absurd question, Why do Boys Need Parents?  Well odds, are you never ask that question, but you probably have seen this viral email floating around, or bits and pieces of it.  I swear the list of pictures gets longer every time I see it.

Why boys need parents….

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This viral email of course comes with the obligatory threat that you must pass it along or else

If you don’t send this to a few old friends, there will be fewer people laughing in the world and then your first born will be fed to one of the people in this photo series.

In a move that experts believe will catch on around the country, many drivers in New York are attempting to ‘lane pool’ in order to reduce the cost of tolls.  A Lane pooler essentially shares the same exact lane space with another car.  Instead of 2 cars driving in single file in the same lane, they drive side by side, thus reducing linear congestion.

Drivers that wish to benefit from lane pooling may need to have their cars slightly modified in one of the newly provided lane pooling modification centers.  During lane pooling modification, two cars are analyzed very carefully by experts to determine if they will be able to fit side by side within a standard sized toll road.

If the cars are slightly too wide, their vehicles can be right sized for lane pooling for a nominal extra fee of $200 which will generally pay for itself for drivers that would take more than 10 trips on any given toll road in the the New York area next year. 

New Jersey is also considering lane pooling options for its state.  As more New York lane poolers start to travel to New Jersey, they sometimes attempt to continue lane pooling across the state border.

Unfortunately, they currently still have to pay the old 2 car rate.  That may change as the state takes up new legislation that would both allow a non-driver in a vehicle to pump gas for that vehicle at gas stations, and a new tax credit for a air filters that can be installed on bumpers.  These air filters are similar in design to deer whistles that frighten away deer on the side of the road, but in this case the filters, filter CO2 emissions.

Insiders are reporting that Marge Simpson’s Playboy cover and pullout centerfold also features an interview of the Blue Haired bombshell.  In that interview Marge reportedly discusses her recent months at the Playboy bunny ranch and her skype phone counseling sessions with the Octomom. 

Octomom reportedly had a short term fling with former child star Bart Simpson this summer, something many close friends described as payback against her ex husband.  Marge got involved to make sure that her son was not ‘emotionally injured in the crossfire’ but later became close with Kate.

Now, in the interview in Playboy, Marge seems to be extending an olive branch to Kate to reconsider posing in the world’s most famous gentlemen’s magazine.

Separately, the Simpson camp is fighting off a bit of a scandal as pictures of Marge receiving a Brazilian wax job in preparation for her centerfold have been leaked to the internet.  Her people were quick to point out that the images were probably doctored as “Mrs. Simpson is a cartoon character and with the exception of her Blue Doo, doesn’t have much body hair to speak of…”

 Homer Simpson reportedly recently purchased a digital camera and a Mac with Photoshop.

Viral Emails sent with a chain of images clipped from god knows where and then sent to hundreds of millions of people to distract them from life in general is almost as old as the internet itself.  So maybe this one should be directed not at the aging person reflected in your computer monitor right now, but the internet itself . . .

So here is the latest in viral emails to make you smile (and feel old)

ALL OF US CAN GET A SMILE FROM THIS ONE….

Anyone viewing this years collection of Victoria Secret designs will rapidly jump to the conclusion that the maker of ladies lingerie, swim suits and other optional clothing items has gone completely stupid-nuts.  The CEO last year complained that the designs had gotten ‘too sexy’ and this years line up appears to fix that by making runway models look ridiculous ugly and frumpy and well like something out of a soft porn version of Alice in Wonderland.

See for yourself

“OK, like, these costumes really suck ass Victoria.”

“Anyone seen my Chiquita banana headset?”

One stupid way to hide a nice rack

Some things are worse when wrapped in a bow.

I’m Fat Bastard’s wet dream gone wrong just to piss off Austin Powers.

I wanted to be a Victoria’s Secret model when I grew up.  I was so screwed in the head.

Could only look worse if she were on roller skates

Way too much fabric for lingerie

The Edelweiss meets Thors neighborhood tramp get up

Just throw any ole nasty panties together with faux fur

“This is why Ulysses Shrugged”

“This has to be a joke right?”

Hey Victoria, Ayn Rand and Austin Powers called, they say your looking pretty ugly baby.

Make Up: $40

Hair Stylist: $75

Body Waxing: $110

Custom Tattoo: $150

Sexy Designer Outfit: $225

Collagen Lip Enhancement: $400

Boob Job: $6,000

Forgetting To Tuck In Your Nuts…Priceless

And now a note from our sponsors, the makers of the Apple iBoobs.

The makers of the iBoobs would like you to consider purchasing the iBoobs.  iBoobs are an Apple iPod player sewn into a woman’s bra.  This device is made for both men and women, but sound quality is optimal when a man or a woman places their nose in the cleavage between a woman’s breast that is wearing iBoobs.

The iBoob device is inspired by the technologies present in both the iPod with the rotating wheel and the new iTouch.  Regardless, iBoobs are definitely hands on.  To increase volume, simply rotate your index finger in a clockwise direction around the nipple of the right breast.  To lock the sound level, squeeze the nipple.

To scan for new songs on your iBoobs, rotate your index finger around the left nipple in a counter clockwise direction.  To select a song, squeeze the nipple and release.

The device comes in many different storage sizes and many different colors and artful skins.  Unfortunately the device is not backwards compatible with other Apple products at all, nor does it synchronize well with any known computers, but hell no one buys iBoobs those reasons anyway.  In fact, if you have any complaints about your iBoobs the technical support FAQ’s recommend that again , you place your nose in the woman’s cleavage and just relax.  Alternatively, if you are having volume control issues, lips and lightly applied teeth may help you achieve the deeply resonant sound you are looking for.

iBoobs by satrianto
Shop for a tee shirt on zazzle.com

iBoobs by OberlePhotoArt
Make personalized tshirts at zazzle.com

iTits by dioalice
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