Just when Health Care Insurance Reform seemed almost dead, the Obama Administration and Democrats received the best gift a politician can receive, an evil insurance empire acting very badly and painting a massive bull’s eye that any Democrat could hit, even with Nancy Pelosi’s pitching arm.

Thursday morning, Health Secretary Kathleen Sebelius called to thank Anthem CEO Robert Hillman, who succeeded the unlikely duo of Larry Glasscok who begat the next CEO Ben Lytle who begat Hillman.  With so much begatting taking place it is impressive to note just how much business Anthem has been able to capture.  Rumors that Secretary Sebelius also sent lude images of herself wearing a hot little red chemise from Fredericks of Hollywood circulated the internet later tomorrow as well.  Her office denied the rumors and stated that the red chemise was standard attire for the Secretary, who frankly does have a nice body and likes to show off her ‘healthyness’ as a role model and Secretary of Health.

Sebelius is not the first hot mama to go to the mattresses over health care, Hillary Clinton made a hell of a push and almost won some awards over a decade ago as well, but Hillary didn’t have the luxury of fat cat Insurance companies acting like complete morons in the middle of a political fire storm.  Back in the 90’s Insurance companies were still a lot more tentative, but 17 straight years of increasing health care costs coupled with increasing health insurance company profits have made them fat and stupid.

Regardless, it should be pretty easy now for Sebelius and Democrats in Washington to cook up some health insurance witches just after they finish their short sited hunt in Anthem land.

Anthem may get support from an odd crowd however as Tea Baggers are starting to get their hackles up.  Anthem is also the name of an Ayn Rand short story.  Its likely that the Tea Party types might rush to Anthem’s defense mistaking it for a Rand book as opposed to an insurance company.  Its so hard to fight those pesky Democrats when they keep pulling bait and switch tactics like books and insurance companies after all.

1. You know you are a teabagger when
1. Your dog rides in your truck, but your wife stays home and mixes ammonium nitrate.
2. You can remember the fertilizer, pellets and ammonium nitrate mixture ratios, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday.
3. You have stolen gravel from the county road to cover your AK -47 ground stash.
4. You shout down someone who is talking, because you believe they are trying to limit your freedom of speech.
5. You’ve used the same knife to whittle a shiv, and threaten your Congressman.  
6. You have been asked to leave a yard sale.
7. You put the beatdown on your tattoo artist for spelling "MOM" backwards.
8. You hate government health care, and don’t want them to touch your Medicare.
9. The Rush Limbaugh show ended and you cried like John Boehner. 
2. Teabagger’s Leader Questions:
1. What is the smallest limb diameter that will support hanging your Congressman in effigy?
2. How many car radiators are necessary to condense 200 gallons of moonshine?
3. How long will it take your nine children to build a bomb shelter?
4. Going 60 miles an hour, for 12 hours, from your house, how long will it take you to get to Graceland?
5. If a man and woman get married in Texas and move to Washington D. C., are they still first cousins?
6. If your canon fuse is 15 ft. long, and it burns at 1 inch per second, how long does it take to reach the payload?
3. Teabagger’s Computer Vocabulary:
1. Backup – What you do when you run across a liberal in the woods.  
2. Bug – What you do to your Congressman at a town hall meeting.  
3. Byte – What your pit-bull did to your Barack Obama doll.
4. Chip – The smart son who can load a magazine in 32 seconds.  
5. Terminal – Socialist Amtrak station.  
6. Crash – When you go to a Starbucks Coffee by mistake.  
7. Digital – Counting to nine on your fingers.
8. Fax – Rush Limbaugh’s opinion.  
9. Hacker – Your wife after 26 years of smoking.
10. Hardcopy – Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
11. I nternet – Where you put your hair at work.
12. Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the Hummer.
13. Mac – Your favorite restaurant.
14. Megahertz – How your head feels after listening to "Barry".  
15. Modem – What you do to liberals who want socialist health care.  
16. Mousepad– Nancy Pelosi’s office
17. Network – Fox News.
18. PC – Losing your freedom of hate speech.
19. ROM – Where the pope lives.
20. Screen – Camouflaged netting to hide ammo stash.  
21. Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
22. Superconductor – Glenn Beck, but Lou Dobbs is getting better every day.  
23. SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – Your first cousin after sex.
24. WYSIWYG – 5.5  inches.
25. Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
4. Why did the teabagger fail his humanities test?        Because he took it.
5. Why did the teabagger cross the road?       Because Fox News told them to.
6. How many teabaggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. 36. One to screw in thw lighbulb, and 35 to protest the Obama Administration’s policy on creating darkness.
7. What is Teabagging?
8. Where did the term teabagging come from? 
1. John Waters popularized the term ‘teabagger or teabgging’ in the movie Pecker but did not invent it.
9. Distantly about teabagging. . . . The Republicans strip and form a huge naked pile – a gay sex orgy in an attempt to stop the Obama Socialist future – preventing themselves from reproducing.  A few Democrats come along, and start making some reasonable suggestions: resolving our differences with diplomacy, nuclear disarmament, economic stimulus, coming together, holding hands, singing Kumbaya.  People are starting to agree, then one of the Republicans interrupts saying “Wait! This is gay!”  “OK everyone, back in the pile!”
10. A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender, “Hey, have you heard the latest Teabagger joke?” The bartender replied, coldly, “No. And I’ll have you know I’m a Teabagger .”        That’s O. K.,” said the man, “I’ll talk slow.”
11. The Teabaggers were getting really pissed off about people telling all these Teabagger jokes so they decided to stage a march on Washington . . .          When last heard from they were 10 miles out of Seattle.
12. Teabagger’s Joke Book
13. Yet another Tea Bagger T-shirt

THE TEABAGGER by TheManticore666
Buy shirts at zazzle.com

Republicans are getting all worked up over the party to end all parties, its the 2010 Tea Bagger Ball in Memphis Tennessee!

Of course, they are not the only ones interested in this party!  Democrats, Independents, and even the remaining Libertarians with a sense of humor that haven’t gotten sucked   into the Tea Bag blow out can’t wait for the ultimate smack down in Tea Bag jokes.

The more socially conservative, conservatives were appalled last year to learn that the fun founding father catch phrases that worked 240 years ago in politics had taken on a very sexual connotation in the present.  Even though many of those same socially conservative, conservatives are the SAME ones that give regular good ol’ boy conservatives a bad name by fornicating with any thing with a fornication button regardless of sex and religion while demonizing how bad that is for everyone else to do out of the other side of any remaining open orifice, they were none-the less surprise to find out that tea bags today can also refer to TESTICLES!

Fun Factoid! Did you know that both Tea Bags and Testicles hang around like limp sacks, not doing much of anything unless you pull on their string up and down a little bit?

Yup, it is true, so knock yourself out!

So if you have $500 for a plate of dinner, a $250 hotel room in Memphis and some twisted morals that you don’t let your congregation know too much about, head on down to the Tea Baggers Ball!

Got Tea Bags? by ViralGrapeWrath

Got Tea Bags? by ViralGrapeWrath

Don’t Teabag Me, BroT-Shirt by ClarityRules

I’m not anti-Republican, just anti-BONEHEAD by noyoudidnt

Fuk’d News Mug by ClarityRules

Pauli Zannfield thought that modeling as a t-shirt model might help him earn some extra cash while attending Tantaoui Sector University.

According to friends and family, one thing led to another and before long he was modeling t-shirts with a rebel propaganda slant. Late one night last fall, Storm Troopers broke down the door of his dormitory room and dragged him away to be dealt with by a Force Administrator.

Shortly there after class mates found his remains blown apart in a stunning explosion, designed to make an example.

Don’t let this happen to your college student, room mate, sibling, or robot building slave boy.

This message brought to you by the Emperor.

Many people have been wondering what Sarah Palin’s next move would be after quitting her gig as Governor.  Most of us weren’t all that surprised by her next step however.  She’s basically doing what every Republican does . . .

She’s spending some more time reading books, she just prefers to read books with pasties on.

She’s also raising a lot of money selling t-shirts to christians

The South Carolina Governor that got lost on the Appalachian trail angling for some Argentinian Tail may have his sights set in a NEW direction this month.  Sources close to the Governor’s SMS texting account believe that he may be carrying on a textual affair with a former member of the Latin American Boy Band Menudo! 

He is a Republican ya know and those Republican Politicians, they luv them some forbidden fruits.

Governor Sanford’s publicist will not confirm whether or not Sanford will appear on the new Fox Reality show, “Dancing with the Whores”, but she would say that Sanford has had a little more tango experience recently.