The National Enquirer was caught by a Beverly Hills hotel maid in the middle of a wet dream as the tabloid paper had a private dream about Senator John Edwards affair and love child with his former aid Rielle Hunter.
When awoken and questioned by hotel security, the National Enquirer confessed that the source of the messy dream did not result from revelations that John Edwards had been caught cheating on his cancer fighting spouse, nor that the former VP Candidate had created a love child with his staff and staffer.
The source of the wet dream apparently came from The National Enquirer’s over active imagination and internet porn obsession that sent DNA test samples from Edwards and Hunter to 4 prominent and well respected labs, which all unanimously confirmed that not only had an affair taken place creating a love child between the couple, but that the couple were in fact first cousins already!
Quick Fact: Did you know that 3 out of 4 National Enquirer computers are maxed out on RAM computer memory so that they can keep celebrity internet porn qued up and playing in high definition?
We didn’t know it either, but if we find out its true, it will make a great story.
Tabloid journalists haven’t struck gold like that since FDR married his cousin and died cheating on her while on vacation from WWII.
Here is a video that is sure to go viral soon, and I suspect may even hint at a sequel or a series as the Incredible McCain Hulk Girl takes on Obama girl to fight for control over the United States.
Democracy may never be the same again, but it definitely will create a lot of male fantasies about women taking control over the White House and could mark the balance transfer of power from one sex to the other. Maybe Hillary Clinton took the wrong approach in her unsuccessful bid for the White House. Instead of becoming a US Senator, maybe she would have been more successful by going into biomedical research.
Then again, I’m not sure that the world is ready for a Hillary Hulk Clinton…
The missing Bush Triplet, Flora Bush is seen here in this music protest video created to protest her own father, GW.
We can all see that Flora gets her talent (or lack there of) directly from her father George. The only thing worse than listening to Flora sing is watching her father dance or even worse, listening to him speak publicly.
Unfortunately, she must be as stupid as he is if she thinks that a protest video will even possibly shake him off his stuborn policies in the US or even in Iraq. He couldn’t find Iraq today without the Pentagon and two foot stack of travel guides.
We don’t know whether or not you watched the memorial service for Ronald Reagan, but if you did, you probably noticed that Bill and Hillary were both dozing off
President Ronald Reagan, who never missed a chance for a good one-liner, raised his head out of his casket and said…
Back in Ronnie’s days, Vegas didn’t have quite the reputation it does to day.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.
But you can bet that if it had, he’d probably have added that they should go get a room at one of the hotels in Las Vegas while they had this one last chance!
Odds are you have probably seen this email grace your inbox once or twice. It features Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy and an eery comparison between the similarities and synchronicities of their assassinations.
Have a history teacher explain this—– if they can.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln ’s secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy’s Secretary was named Lincoln .
Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln , was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln , was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named ‘Ford.’ Kennedy was shot in a car called ‘ Lincoln ‘ made by ‘Ford.’
Lincoln was shot in a theater and his assassin ran and hid in a warehouse. Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and his assassin ran and hid in a theater.
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials.
And here’s the kicker…
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe , Maryland A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe.
Creepy huh? Send this to as many people as you can, cause: Hey, this is one history lesson most people probably will not mind reading!
Dear Abby, I am a 60-year-old woman who is married to a man who acts like he hates me. In public, he pretends he loves me and talks about how wonderful I am. But in private, he shakes his finger in my face and calls me the ‘B’ word. He constantly tells me how ugly I am without make-up. I’ve tried everything, including a face-lift, botox treatments, and a chin tuck. I even went on a diet and lost 20 pounds. He quit his job a few years ago after having an affair with a woman in his office. He hasn’t even looked for another job. We haven’t slept together since I confronted him about the affair. He denied it, of course, but everybody knew it. It was humiliating. I believe he is still messing around. While we both want to sell this house, we argue constantly about when to put it on the market. The house we want will be available in a few months. My husband wants to put our house on the market now. I think we should wait a while. He has already started collecting boxes and packing up his stuff. Do you think he is planning to leave me? Signed, Worried in NY Dear Worried in NY: I doubt it. He wants to move back into The White House as much as you do.
We all knew that this race would eventually come to blows and Hillary Clinton went after Obama in his weakest area.
His bowling game. She challenged him to a bowling grudge match and belittled his very poor bowling handicap (the man is almost brain dead when it comes to bowling, a puppy could bowl a better game than Barrack Obama’s recent showing with a 37.
ViralGrapeVine was the first organization to break the news to Obama supporters and lovers across the country and across the world.
Barack Obama is Out of the Race!
He’s out of the Democratic Primary and he is out of the race for the 2008 Presidential election. Barack Obama was found to be unqualified to be President of the United States after a public demonstration in Altoona, Pennsylvania. Barack Obama showed up to what he thought would be a casual working class campaign stop.
He bowled 10 frames with a staffer and racked up the amazingly low score of 37. That’s right, he rolled the ball 20 times at 10 pins and only hit 37 pins (hard enough to knock them down). The candidate was plagued by gutter balls and velcro shoes.
Little did Obama know that this was actually a test of the Bavarian sect of the Illuminati. The Bavarian Illuminati have run the United States after substituting George Washington with a look alike actually named Adama Weishaupt (Vise Hopt’d) shortly after the American Revolution.
Since then the Illuminati have used their satanic ritual of testing potential Presidential candidates with seeming simple and innocent games such as nine pins, horse shoes, bowling and even tick tack toe.
The game used to test Abraham Lincoln in 1859 when he played against a chicken a match that many Illuminati insiders claimed as a rigged and unfair contest. In 1859 it was almost impossible for a person to actually win a game of tic tac toe against a chicken.
In the modern age people today have a much better chance at besting chickens today after generations of Tyson led fowl genocide.
Barack Obama went up against the Illuminati this weekend and lost. Many politicos have understood for some time that Obama was a member of the Ancients of Mu a Pacific Rim secret society that has fought distantly against the Illuminati, whom originated in Atlantis and later migrated to Greece, took over the Ottoman empire, then migrated through the Austro-Hungarian Empire and back across the Atlantic to the United States through their Bavarian sect.
Many people feel that the Illuminati are preparing for another transition out of the United States and back to the Middle East either to settle in Iraq, Pakistan, or Afghanistan so that they can prepare an offensive against the seat of the Ancients of Mu in Beijing.
All of that maneuvering seems to have gone against Barack Obama who was prepared to sweep the 2008 election until he was undone by a poison pill planted by the Illuminati grand wizard Harry Truman back in 1947. Truman realized in 1947 that managing the US Nuclear arsenal could never fall into the hands of anyone belong to the Ancients of Mu and setup a secret program to test potential candidates by subjecting them to a bowling test.
Since then many people have unknowingly taken this test in bowling allies across the United States. Presidential material was typically identified early in life and tracked very closely, but Obama grew up in Indonesia and later Hawaii and fell off the radar of the Illuminati.
It wasn’t until this last weekend that an Illuminati spy working deep inside the Obama campaign, organized the stop engineered to test Obama and remove him ultimately from the campaign and contest for the Presidency.
That Illuminati plot has succeeded and the Ancients of Mu have to venture back to the drawing board.
1. “Why did I marry her? Why didn’t I just put a loaded gun in my mouth? Why, God? Why?” 2. “Holy crap, look at that rear end. Somewhere, a semi-truck is missing its ‘Oversized Load’ sign. 3. “Somewhere, there are two willing girls naked in a hot tub and I’m stuck here listening to her jabber on about health care. 4. “Sheesh, Rush is sooooooo right - She does sound like Nurse Ratchett!” 5. “My God, does that woman never shut up?” 6. “I wonder if Monica still has the same phone number.”
7. “Damn, Just think of the babes I could get with Barack’s Mojo!” 8. “I can’t believe that asshole George sent me those those pictures of Condi pounding him with a strap on over my old desk in the Oval Office. How the hell do you get an image like that out of your mind?” 9. “She told me, she’d never blow me again unless she was elected President. Not lookin’ so good right now . .”
