1. You know you are a teabagger when
1. Your dog rides in your truck, but your wife stays home and mixes ammonium nitrate.
2. You can remember the fertilizer, pellets and ammonium nitrate mixture ratios, but cannot recall your wife’s birthday.
3. You have stolen gravel from the county road to cover your AK -47 ground stash.
4. You shout down someone who is talking, because you believe they are trying to limit your freedom of speech.
5. You’ve used the same knife to whittle a shiv, and threaten your Congressman.  
6. You have been asked to leave a yard sale.
7. You put the beatdown on your tattoo artist for spelling "MOM" backwards.
8. You hate government health care, and don’t want them to touch your Medicare.
9. The Rush Limbaugh show ended and you cried like John Boehner. 
2. Teabagger’s Leader Questions:
1. What is the smallest limb diameter that will support hanging your Congressman in effigy?
2. How many car radiators are necessary to condense 200 gallons of moonshine?
3. How long will it take your nine children to build a bomb shelter?
4. Going 60 miles an hour, for 12 hours, from your house, how long will it take you to get to Graceland?
5. If a man and woman get married in Texas and move to Washington D. C., are they still first cousins?
6. If your canon fuse is 15 ft. long, and it burns at 1 inch per second, how long does it take to reach the payload?
3. Teabagger’s Computer Vocabulary:
1. Backup – What you do when you run across a liberal in the woods.  
2. Bug – What you do to your Congressman at a town hall meeting.  
3. Byte – What your pit-bull did to your Barack Obama doll.
4. Chip – The smart son who can load a magazine in 32 seconds.  
5. Terminal – Socialist Amtrak station.  
6. Crash – When you go to a Starbucks Coffee by mistake.  
7. Digital – Counting to nine on your fingers.
8. Fax – Rush Limbaugh’s opinion.  
9. Hacker – Your wife after 26 years of smoking.
10. Hardcopy – Picture looked at when selecting tattoos.
11. I nternet – Where you put your hair at work.
12. Keyboard – Where you hang the keys to the Hummer.
13. Mac – Your favorite restaurant.
14. Megahertz – How your head feels after listening to "Barry".  
15. Modem – What you do to liberals who want socialist health care.  
16. Mousepad– Nancy Pelosi’s office
17. Network – Fox News.
18. PC – Losing your freedom of hate speech.
19. ROM – Where the pope lives.
20. Screen – Camouflaged netting to hide ammo stash.  
21. Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
22. Superconductor – Glenn Beck, but Lou Dobbs is getting better every day.  
23. SCSI (pronounced scuzzi) – Your first cousin after sex.
24. WYSIWYG – 5.5  inches.
25. Serial Port – Boones Farm with breakfast.
4. Why did the teabagger fail his humanities test?        Because he took it.
5. Why did the teabagger cross the road?       Because Fox News told them to.
6. How many teabaggers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. 36. One to screw in thw lighbulb, and 35 to protest the Obama Administration’s policy on creating darkness.
7. What is Teabagging?
8. Where did the term teabagging come from? 
1. John Waters popularized the term ‘teabagger or teabgging’ in the movie Pecker but did not invent it.
9. Distantly about teabagging. . . . The Republicans strip and form a huge naked pile – a gay sex orgy in an attempt to stop the Obama Socialist future – preventing themselves from reproducing.  A few Democrats come along, and start making some reasonable suggestions: resolving our differences with diplomacy, nuclear disarmament, economic stimulus, coming together, holding hands, singing Kumbaya.  People are starting to agree, then one of the Republicans interrupts saying “Wait! This is gay!”  “OK everyone, back in the pile!”
10. A man walked into a bar and asked the bartender, “Hey, have you heard the latest Teabagger joke?” The bartender replied, coldly, “No. And I’ll have you know I’m a Teabagger .”        That’s O. K.,” said the man, “I’ll talk slow.”
11. The Teabaggers were getting really pissed off about people telling all these Teabagger jokes so they decided to stage a march on Washington . . .          When last heard from they were 10 miles out of Seattle.
12. Teabagger’s Joke Book
13. Yet another Tea Bagger T-shirt

THE TEABAGGER by TheManticore666
Buy shirts at zazzle.com

Related posts:

1. Did Health Secretary Sebelius Personally Send Sexy Picture to Anthem CEO thanking him for Acting the Fool?
2. Obama Consolation Nominee-Secretary of Speeches
3. So Just Who is the Head Tea Bagger Around Here Anyway?

Republicans are getting all worked up over the party to end all parties, its the 2010 Tea Bagger Ball in Memphis Tennessee!

Of course, they are not the only ones interested in this party!  Democrats, Independents, and even the remaining Libertarians with a sense of humor that haven’t gotten sucked   into the Tea Bag blow out can’t wait for the ultimate smack down in Tea Bag jokes.

The more socially conservative, conservatives were appalled last year to learn that the fun founding father catch phrases that worked 240 years ago in politics had taken on a very sexual connotation in the present.  Even though many of those same socially conservative, conservatives are the SAME ones that give regular good ol’ boy conservatives a bad name by fornicating with any thing with a fornication button regardless of sex and religion while demonizing how bad that is for everyone else to do out of the other side of any remaining open orifice, they were none-the less surprise to find out that tea bags today can also refer to TESTICLES!

Fun Factoid! Did you know that both Tea Bags and Testicles hang around like limp sacks, not doing much of anything unless you pull on their string up and down a little bit?

Yup, it is true, so knock yourself out!

So if you have $500 for a plate of dinner, a $250 hotel room in Memphis and some twisted morals that you don’t let your congregation know too much about, head on down to the Tea Baggers Ball!

Got Tea Bags? by ViralGrapeWrath

Got Tea Bags? by ViralGrapeWrath

Don’t Teabag Me, BroT-Shirt by ClarityRules

I’m not anti-Republican, just anti-BONEHEAD by noyoudidnt

Fuk’d News Mug by ClarityRules

Related posts:

1. 1001 Tea Bagger Jokes
2. RNC Forwards Booty Call for Alaska Teenagers
3. Hillary Clinton Raise $2 million from Conservative Republicans in 2007

I have to admit this is more spooky than Satan on Utterli

Mobile post sent by brettbum using Utterli.  Replies.

Related posts:

1. Mad Skillz – Sarah Palin on a Bicycle last year
2. Had to laugh at this one …
3. SURPRISE ATTACKS…

Related posts:

1. Twitter Downside – Followed by Charles Manson
2. Had to laugh at this one …
3. SURPRISE ATTACKS…

Related posts:

1. Rudolph the Buggered Reindeer lyrics
2. Billy Idol Christmas Lyrics – Santa’s Rebel Yell

http://viralgrapevine.com/

Mobile post sent by brettbum using Utterli.  Replies.

Related posts:

1. Obama Consolation Nominee-Secretary of Speeches
2. Twitter Downside – Followed by Charles Manson
3. Had to laugh at this one …

Editors Note – Surprise we do have an editor!  The entire purpose of this website is to virally share and spread humor to help people smile at both the good and bad in life so that we can recognize truisms and truths when they beat us across the head.  Sometimes to truly experience the laughter you have to experience emotions on the other end of the spectrum as well.  There is no appreciation of hot without cold or wet without dry or soft without hard.  So with that in mind, I’d like to share a viral email of a different variety that I received today.

What would you do? You make the choice. Don’t look for a punch line, there
isn’t one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same
choice?

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children,
the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be
forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated
staff, he offered a question: “When not interfered with by outside
influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son,
Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things
as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?”
The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. “I believe that when a child like Shay, physically
and mentally handicapped comes into the world, an opportunity to realize
true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way other people
treat that child.”

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were
playing baseball. Shay asked, “Do you think they’ll let me play?”

Shay’s father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like
Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were
allowed to play, it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and
some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay’s father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting
much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said,
“We’re losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I
guess he can be on our team and we’ll try to put him in to bat in the ninth
inning.”

Shay struggled over to the team’s bench and, with a broad smile, put on
a team shirt. His Father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth
in his heart. The boys saw the father’s joy at his son being accepted.
In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay’s team scored a few runs but was
still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove
and played in the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was
obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from
ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of
the ninth inning, Shay’s team scored again. Now, with two outs and the
bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled
to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win
the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat.Everyone knew that a hit
was all but impossible because Shay didn’t even know how to hold the bat
properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that
the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay’s life,
moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make
contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher
again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As
the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right
back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and
could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have
been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman’s head,
out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams
started yelling, “Shay, run to first! Run to first!” Never in
his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered
down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, “Run to second, run to second!” Catching his
breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make
it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right
fielder had the ball … the smallest guy on their team who now had his
first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball
to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher’s intentions
so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman’s
head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him
circled the bases toward home.

All were screaming, “Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay”
Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him
by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, “Run to
third! Shay, run to third!”

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were
on their feet screaming, “Shay, run home! Run home!” Shay ran
to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand
slam and won the game for his team.

“That day”, said the father softly with tears now rolling down
his face, “the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love
and humanity into this world”.

Shay didn’t make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never
forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home
and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes
through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending
messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude, vulgar, and often
obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency
is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you’re thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you’re
probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren’t the “appropriate”
ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this
believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the
“natural order of things.” So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice:

Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity or do we pass up those
opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it’s least
fortunate amongst them.

You now have two choices:

1. Delete

2. Forward

May your day, be a Shay Day.

Editors Closing: I did not choose 1 and I did not choose 2.  Instead I chose a third path, to publish this viral story on the internet where it probably already exists.

In doing so, I have opened up new possibilities.  You can now ALSO:

3. Forward a Link to this article

4.  Blog about this article

5.  Copy this article and email it

6.  Stumble or DIgg the article

Or you might even find some entirely new and creative way to spread the concept around.  Lessons can teach us a great deal, but we do not always have to copy them to achieve great results.  I mention that because life is rarely as binary as choosing one action over another, it not only takes great humanity to be good, but it also takes great creativity.

Be creatively humane

Related posts:

1. E-Mail Junkyard – Baseball Analogies for Sex
2. So Just Who is the Head Tea Bagger Around Here Anyway?
3. Woman Held Hostage From a Distance with ‘Garage Door Opener’

Related posts:

1. Twitter Downside – Followed by Charles Manson
2. Had to laugh at this one …
3. SURPRISE ATTACKS…

Related posts:

1. Twitter Downside – Followed by Charles Manson
2. Had to laugh at this one …
3. SURPRISE ATTACKS…

Related posts:

1. Twitter Downside – Followed by Charles Manson
2. Had to laugh at this one …
3. SURPRISE ATTACKS…