Viral Grape Vine

So you have been looking at viral videos, emails, blogs and websites all day and all night long.  You have absorbed all the creativity of thousands of people and you think you are ready to express your own creative side.

Where do you Begin?

Well, first you have to find something that interests you, Something you might be passionate about, something that will keep your attention no matter how low on Riddalin you might be right now.  We recommend you learn How to draw a Nude Woman.

Nude Women have been used for centuries to help men concentrate more.  They are regularly used in advertising and many literary publications such as Playboy, Hustler and Oui.  The nude female form has been designed by nature in fact to keep the attention of males. 

So as you are learning how to be creatively expressive, we recommend you go with the flow and learn how to draw a nude woman.  Its in your blood, its in your genetics, you know you want to do it. So this video will help you get started.  We’ll throw out the caveat that the first step is definitely the hardest.

The National Enquirer was caught by a Beverly Hills hotel maid in the middle of a wet dream as the tabloid paper had a private dream about Senator John Edwards affair and love child with his former aid Rielle Hunter.

When awoken and questioned by hotel security, the National Enquirer confessed that the source of the messy dream did not result from revelations that John Edwards had been caught cheating on his cancer fighting spouse, nor that the former VP Candidate had created a love child with his staff and staffer.

The source of the wet dream apparently came from The National Enquirer’s over active imagination and internet porn obsession that sent DNA test samples from Edwards and Hunter to 4 prominent and well respected labs, which all unanimously confirmed that not only had an affair taken place creating a love child between the couple, but that the couple were in fact first cousins already!

Quick Fact: Did you know that 3 out of 4 National Enquirer computers are maxed out on RAM computer memory so that they can keep celebrity internet porn qued up and playing in high definition?

We didn’t know it either, but if we find out its true, it will make a great story.

Tabloid journalists haven’t struck gold like that since FDR married his cousin and died cheating on her while on vacation from WWII.

Two women are being sought for their actions to against men in Home Depot parking lots in a trail that is leading men across the country from Home Depot to Home Depot in search of these women.  (Investigators are looking for them too.)

Their names are unknown, but the composite image below was put together after numerous victims perused a the Shirley of Hollywood lingerie collection online.  The models below are not the women in question, but they are dressed in a similar fashion and happen to have the same colored hair as the women in question.

Here is one victims account of his own suffering and his recommendation to others to help them as well.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen
to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to
look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th, 29th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.

It takes a lot for animals to stand up and throw stones at the morality of other animals.  This is probably the primary reason why animals other than humans do not engage in religion (if you discount dolphins adoration of psycho therapy . .)

That said, even animals have a few moral limits.

One of those moral limits comes into play when one animal engages in sexual relations with inanimate objects designed to look like animals. What this place needs is more tourists to prevent this type of un-natural behavior. IF there was a golf course present in the vicinity, someone could whack some golf balls in the general direction of this frisky fellow and the statue might not suffer this type of sexual aggression.  

Pfizer Announcement

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ’stiff drink’.

Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Odds are if you are normal or have any experience on the internet, if you receive an email or a private message from a social networking site like Facebook or something and it reads something like this

I think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread!  Send me your email address.  I’d like to send you (naked) pictures of myself and possibly have a live webcam video chat with you!

You should probably ignore that email and send it to your spam bucket unless you are a Hillary Supporter, in which case you probably already know that its just Hillary’s normal tactic for teasing campaign contributions out of Americans.

Sure you could have an online relationship, maybe even have internet sex but think about your actions. 

If you have internet sex with someone,

• you are also having internet sex with everyone they have had internet sex with,
• everyone they are having internet sex with at the same time they have internet sex with you
• and conversely you are also having sex with absolutely no one!

That’s because when you have internet sex you are just masturbating!

You can call it internet sex all you like, but the reality is its just masturbation (no matter what your spouse or parents say).