Viral Sex Topics & Videos

Anyone with half a brain could see this latest bailout request coming from a mile away.  The Porn industry is seeking a $5 billion bailout from taxpayers.  The owners of Hustler and the Girls Gone Wild franchise are jointly asking for the bailout and will likely be called to Capital Hill sometime very soon to testify.

Many people in the porn industry think a bailout could hurt the porn industry.  People at the heart of the industry are dismissive of claims that if the US government took an ownership stake in Hustler, that it might degrade the quality of the magazine.  They claim most members of Congress are some of their biggest customers and hardest advocates behind closed doors, and airport stalls.  They do admit that government intervention might ‘gay things up’ a bit, according to Robert Jasmine Grenwich a communications manager for Hustler that was never actually hired by the company.

“I’ve worked as a Senate page and almost had an interview at Hustler.  I happen to know for a fact that if Congress puts their mitts down the pants of the porn industry that things will focus more on the boys than the girls.” said Grenwich on his blog TheMetroSexualPage.com.

Most Americans are flacid on the topic.  They recognize the need for porn, but point out that porn is more of a victim from ‘free porn’.  They think that porn has been drilled less by the recession than by changes in the business overall.

Hillary Clinton, who is expected to make a surprise guest visit at the AVN awards in Las Vegas this week, might actually weigh in on the side of Girls Gone Wild, but split her support away from Hustler magazine, whom she had a falling out with last fall after a dispute that arose during a Pay to Play campaign debt reduction offer.  Rumors have it that she played, but never received her pay.  Others think that the payment may have been hijacked by some Riyad donors in China that were trying to recoup their own contributions to Bill Clinton.  Bill is widely expected to support the bailout as well.  Many people think he might even take on an oversite role in a new government agency that may be created called the Sex Exchange Un Commission SeUC, pronounced SUCK.

For more information that has been tainted by reporter types see Porn industry seeks federal bailout « – Blogs from CNN.com

Teenagers who take anti-virginity pledges are more sexually active than other teens, according to a new study.

But the results, published in the journal Pediatric Sex, suggest that anti-virginity pledgers are more likely to protect themselves against pregnancy or disease when they do have sex.

Researchers say the findings suggest that anti-virginity pledges may not significantly affect teenagers’ sexual behavior. Instead, they may increase the likelihood of teenagers taking precautions, such as using a condom or using birth control, when they do have sex.

Anti-Virginity Pledge May Lead to Safe Sex

Researchers say the federal government spends about $800 million annually on anti-abstinence promotion programs plus several million dollars for the Congressional Page program, which all include anti-virginity pledges. Two previous studies have suggested that anti-virginity pledges can speed up initial sexual encounters, especially for females.  However, researchers say those studies did not account for pre-existing differences between pledgers and non-pledgers.

In this study, researchers compared the sexual behavior of 289,000 teenagers who reported taking an anti-virginity pledge from 1966-1996 in a national survey to 645 non-pledgers who were matched on more than 100 factors, such as religious beliefs and attitudes toward sex and birth control.

The results showed that five years after taking the virginity pledge:

• 82% of pledgers rejoiced at having taken the pledge.
• Pledgers and matched non-pledgers did differ in rates of premarital sex, sexually transmitted disease, and oral and anal sex behaviors.
• Pledgers had 10 times more sexual partners in the past year but did not differ from non-pledgers in the number of lifetime sexual partners and the age of first sex.
• Pledgers were also more likely to enjoy healthy sexual relationships with spouses, experience a lower overall divorce rate, and were 90% less likely to be caught in a Republican sex scandal with or without a Congress person.

The biggest difference between the two groups came in the area of condom and birth control use. The study showed that more pledgers used birth control or condoms in the past year or any form of birth control the last time they had sex.

Researcher Jeremiah Moses Ruthenstein, PHD, of Yale University, says the findings suggest that health care providers should provide birth control information to all teenagers, and that conducting this study was the easiest grant money he had ever earned.  He also indicated that he could have completed the study in 1967, 68,69,70,71,72, 73, 74, 75, 76, 77, 78, 79, 80, 81, 82, 83, 84, 85, 86, 87, 88, 89, 90, 91,92, 93, 94, 95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 2000, 01, 02, 03, 04, 05, 06, and 2007 if he had not been ‘Diddling around’ so much.  It should be noted that Ruthenstein was hospitalized in 2008 for a strained mangina and was unable to move from the waist down through out the entire year.

For other articles that are really stupid, see – Virginity Pledge Doesn’t Stop Teen Sex

BEIJING (Reuters) – A young woman in southern China has partially lost her hearing after her boyfriend ruptured her eardrum during an excessively passionate kiss, local media reported Monday.

The 20-something girl from Zhuhai, in southern Guangdong province, went to hospital completely deaf in her left ear, the China Daily said, citing a report in a local newspaper.

"The kiss reduced pressure in the mouth, pulled the eardrum out and caused the breakdown of the ear," the paper quoted a doctor surnamed Li from the hospital as saying.

The woman’s hearing would likely return to normal after about two months, Li said.

"While kissing is normally very safe, doctors advise people to proceed with caution," the paper said.

http://www.reuters.com/article/newsOne/idUSTRE4B75EO20081208

As troubling as that new story is, its only half as troubling as the serial nature of this incident.  The same man has harmed other girl friends accidentally. 

He once accidentally bruised a girlfriends lungs while squeezing in the side during a tickle fight.  The same girl also complained to her doctor that his atypically rough facial hair scarred her cheek when they were snuggling.  But even more troubling was his former fiance who is still in a coma today after suffering brain damage from a lack of oxygen when he farted under the sheets and held her head under the sheets and blankets forcing her to smell his fart.  The man is a former Shaolin Monk that removed himself from studies in order to attend university where he is majoring in females studies.

This is so wrong and funny on so many levels that we just couldn’t resist publishing it here.  And to think Sarah Palin got a call from John McCain while this was filming!

Sarah Palin Sex Tape Leaked – Watch more free videos

Image by www.YoVenice.com via Flickr

David Duchovny has reportedly pulled out of Sex Rehab, ‘Just in Time’ according to a ‘special female’ at a local Sex Rehab clinic in California that chose to remain anonymous.

“If he had stayed in a moment longer, it would have probably been too late! I told him, ‘Stop, Stop Stop!’  Pull Out Now.  If I get pregnant in sex rehab again, my parents will kill me!” stated a voluptuous blonde aspiring actress who has never ‘worked’ with Duchovny on the big screen and probably won’t for at least another 8-10 years.

Duchovny’s attorney claims that David is cured and ready to go back to work on his next film Wild Orchids 15 – Attack of the Nymphomaniac where David is expected to be tapped as the lead star who is relentlessly attacked on a deserted island by the women’s volleyball team.  The team and Duchovny’s character had been traveling back from the Beijing Olympics when their plane crashed near a remote island and David and the girls were the only survivors, but the island seems to be inhabited by ‘Others’ and at least one Polar Bear.

X-Files star David Duchovny leaves sex rehab | Entertainment | Reuters

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This year the Republican Party really really wants your vote.  They want your vote so very badly that they are almost burning up inside.  Their vote hungry in an insatiable way and it showed yesterday when the Republican National Committee forwarded a Booty Call from St Paul, MN to Juneau, Alaska.

Now, to understand this situation in context, one must understand that the GOP (Grand Ole Party) is really a Grand Ole Party of Romantics.  When Presumptive VP Nominee Sarah Palin says jump, the GOP says how high.  When she finishes spanking them, they say “Thank You Mam, May I have another!”

Yesterday, when her teenage daughter, now five months pregnant was missing her beau in Alaska, the GOP was quick to forward a booty call to the Alaskan Lad and have him flown down to the RNC Convention, jump into a quick loose fitting suit, after rushing through the three standards, shit, shower, and shave (those few loose whiskers). 

He was then promptly available to comfort his future shot gun wedding fiance.  Ah!!!! teenage love requited.  Its enough to make Shakespeare sigh in his grave.

Now that the RNC has figured out how to accomplish a Booty Call, you can bet it won’t be long before they are jumping on twitter and web 2.0 social media tools.  The days of passing messages in St Paul by rubbing feet against feet underneath bathroom stalls are long gone for the GOP.  They have become thoroughly modern now baby, and before you know it maybe their policies will be too. 

The way things are going, it would surprise me if they pack up their party planks in shipping boxes and ship those lame old bastards down the road to the Democrats that are rapidly attracting the ‘moral majority’, the political nomads of America that float in and out of parties to any group that they can control that has just enough religious dogma in their political rhetoric.

So you have been looking at viral videos, emails, blogs and websites all day and all night long.  You have absorbed all the creativity of thousands of people and you think you are ready to express your own creative side.

Where do you Begin?

Well, first you have to find something that interests you, Something you might be passionate about, something that will keep your attention no matter how low on Riddalin you might be right now.  We recommend you learn How to draw a Nude Woman.

Nude Women have been used for centuries to help men concentrate more.  They are regularly used in advertising and many literary publications such as Playboy, Hustler and Oui.  The nude female form has been designed by nature in fact to keep the attention of males. 

So as you are learning how to be creatively expressive, we recommend you go with the flow and learn how to draw a nude woman.  Its in your blood, its in your genetics, you know you want to do it. So this video will help you get started.  We’ll throw out the caveat that the first step is definitely the hardest.

The National Enquirer was caught by a Beverly Hills hotel maid in the middle of a wet dream as the tabloid paper had a private dream about Senator John Edwards affair and love child with his former aid Rielle Hunter.

When awoken and questioned by hotel security, the National Enquirer confessed that the source of the messy dream did not result from revelations that John Edwards had been caught cheating on his cancer fighting spouse, nor that the former VP Candidate had created a love child with his staff and staffer.

The source of the wet dream apparently came from The National Enquirer’s over active imagination and internet porn obsession that sent DNA test samples from Edwards and Hunter to 4 prominent and well respected labs, which all unanimously confirmed that not only had an affair taken place creating a love child between the couple, but that the couple were in fact first cousins already!

Quick Fact: Did you know that 3 out of 4 National Enquirer computers are maxed out on RAM computer memory so that they can keep celebrity internet porn qued up and playing in high definition?

We didn’t know it either, but if we find out its true, it will make a great story.

Tabloid journalists haven’t struck gold like that since FDR married his cousin and died cheating on her while on vacation from WWII.

Two women are being sought for their actions to against men in Home Depot parking lots in a trail that is leading men across the country from Home Depot to Home Depot in search of these women.  (Investigators are looking for them too.)

Their names are unknown, but the composite image below was put together after numerous victims perused a the Shirley of Hollywood lingerie collection online.  The models below are not the women in question, but they are dressed in a similar fashion and happen to have the same colored hair as the women in question.

Here is one victims account of his own suffering and his recommendation to others to help them as well.

Over the last month I became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping. Simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic. Don’t be naive enough to think it couldn’t happen
to you or your friends.

Here’s how the scam works: Two seriously good-looking 20-21 year-old girls come over to your car as you are packing your shopping into the trunk.

They both start wiping your windshield with a rag and Windex, with their breasts almost falling out of their skimpy T-shirts. It is impossible not to
look. When you thank them and offer them a tip, they say ‘No’ and instead ask you for a ride to McDonalds.

You agree and they get in the backseat. On the way, they start undressing. Then one of them climbs over into the front seat and starts crawling all over you, while the other one steals your wallet.

I had my wallet stolen May 9th, 10th, twice on the 15th, 17th, 20th, & 24th, 29th. Also June 1st, 4th, twice on the 8th, three times last Saturday and very likely again this upcoming weekend.

So tell your friends to be careful.

P.S. Wal-Mart has wallets on sale for $2.99 each.

iJustine on the beach with fake boobs

No these are not her boobs, she’s found fake boobs left the beach by hundreds of thousands of implant recipients. Breast implants don’t go in the trash and go to the dump, they go to the beach. and this young reporter is there to pick up the story and squeeze a little bit maybe to….

It takes a lot for animals to stand up and throw stones at the morality of other animals.  This is probably the primary reason why animals other than humans do not engage in religion (if you discount dolphins adoration of psycho therapy . .)

That said, even animals have a few moral limits.

One of those moral limits comes into play when one animal engages in sexual relations with inanimate objects designed to look like animals. What this place needs is more tourists to prevent this type of un-natural behavior. IF there was a golf course present in the vicinity, someone could whack some golf balls in the general direction of this frisky fellow and the statue might not suffer this type of sexual aggression.