My children are angels.  They were not born this way.  They were raised this way.

I do not beat, maim, torture, brutalize or harm my children physically in any way to achieve their obedience, discipline and good manors.  Neither does my wife.

We simply use flatulence to discipline our children.

It’s a simple practice really.  If your children even hint at disobedience, you simply fart on them.

If you are not sure if they were disobedient, then you secretly fart more in their bedroom just before bed time.

The great thing about flatulent discipline is that they do not always have to be guilty and they do not always need to know that you farted on them.  If your children have siblings, they will also start to self discipline each other.  When one of your children farts, the others will have to wonder if mom or dad was responsible for the odor and therefore wonder if Mom and Dad were aware of what ever devilish behavior they were engaging in or contemplating.

This is also a great way to get grandpa and grandma into the discipline game.  Grandparents are notorious for walk by farting, so much so that many comedians have made a very good living talking about grandparents that get the walking farts.  Now, normally grandparents are push overs with their grandkids and fail to keep them disciplined.  This often times gives parents a bit of a set back, but when flatulent discipline is exercised grandparents begin uncontrollably discipline the grandkids and this helps parents keep things in balance.

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