A Las Vegas Judge ordered OJ Simpson to go under the knife.  OJ was subjected to court ordered surgery to search for suspected items relating to the murder of his ex-wife Nicole Brown.

TSA representatives at the Las Vegas airport reportedly identified something that looked like the potential murder weapon.

Authorities expected to find the famous knife that almost beheaded Nicole, but instead were surprised to find some of her costume jewelry and a plastic spork from an unidentified fast food establishment.

OJ awoke from the surgery feeling happy and lighter.  When questioned about the jewelry, OJ stated, “I was hiding that jewelry for Nicole so that her murderous drug dealers wouldn’t steal it from her.”

When asked about the spork, OJ firmly stated, “If I did it, I sure wouldn’t have used a spork.  Come on fellas, give me a break at least I didn’t kill any dogs.  I sure as hell am no Michael Vick!”

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