1. How to Feed Your Trowser Snake to Boost Its Growth (Note if I had to put food in my trowser snake, I’d probably scream or cut it off)
2. Women would perform your every wish if you were well-hung (That’s Bullshit.  I can attest that is bullshit. So for any of you that wish you were well hung, its bull shit and doesn’t help.  Although they might make a cast of your action and then license its reproduction by the sex toy industry)
3. We come to the rescue of your male pride (Thank God, my male pride needs to be rescued.  Those stupid male lions just won’t hunt for themselves and they are starving to death)
4. Increase your fertility with WonderCum! (Ah Hell, that’s just what I need, increased fertility.  I’ve got 3 kids already and I planned to stop at 2!)
5. I’m So Stupid; They even Call Me A Dummy! (Sorry for your Luck Pal)
6. Baby Horse Toilet Typewriter Leather Jacket Shop Airport (Now this schmuck isn’t the only one hoping to benefit from this crazy keyword combination)
7. Obtain a male package that all your buds would envy!  (My Buds aren’t the envious types.  Besides if I could obtain such a package, then so could they and they wouldn’t be envious any longer)
8. Elongate your Short Sword to fit her Scabbard Better (But don’t elongate it too much – You know I do not recall ever seeing anything in the tales of King Arthur, Lancelot and Guinevere that talked about King Arthur or Lancelot, rubbing Guinevere’s scabbard a whole bunch)
9. More Sperm Means Longer Orgasms (And it means messier bed sheets, increased likelihood of condoms breaking, more rug rats under foot and ah hell, who needs that!)
10. Experience Masturbation like never before (Oh?  Do Tell!, How might that be possible?  In outer space, using my own foot . . .)
11. The Ultra realistic and best male masturbator available (What they do not tell you is that the best male masturbator is NOT available and you have to settle for second rate AVAILABLE models.)
12. OK, now this one wasn’t a spam email, but a spam comment on my blog.  This was from a supposed psychic medium from Kentucky, who was apparently not psychic enough to predict the impact of akismet on their spammy comments.
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