Fox News the Red Eye is reporting that President George W Bush has a life threatening case of Wombat Warts.  The report came out on September 22, 2007 at approximately 2:24 am.  The Red Eye definitely had the scoop on this breaking story.

Wombat Warts are rapidly becoming the leading killer of US Presidents still in office all around the world.  The Red Eye is reporting that President Bush is expected to live approximately 48 hours.  Wombat Warts are deadly when contracted.  There is no known cure.  Wombat Warts can only be contracted when a person has sex with a wombat while wrapping cellophane around the wombats head during the sexual act causing the Wombat to expire from lack of Oxygen at the point of orgasm.  The lack of oxygen in the Wombats lungs causes a peculiar release of fluids from the Wombat that causes Wombat Warts.

President Bush has a long history of reckless and self destructive behavior from his business dealings with the Bin Laden family, which bailed out one of his failed oil businesses to his coke and alcohol habits to his predilection for dancing with serpents and speaking in tongues in the Lincoln bedroom.

I’m sitting here watching the Red Eye as they walk through the facts of the situation.  Its a little difficult to pick up all the facts as I have my TV muted.  That means that I have to read the commentators lips, and I do not know how to read lips.

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