Yesterday it was revealed by the White House that Iran gave up pursuing nuclear weapons almost 4 years ago.  Apparently the intelligence community knew this at least a year ago and provided a report to the president last summer, but he was not able to hear that report let alone understand what it meant.

When asked when he knew about the report, the President stated that he should have heard it last summer and known about it then, however he admitted to suffering from hearing loss that prevented them from hearing the update about Iran’s nuclear capabilities and intentions.  He elaborated that it’ll lifelong passion for hip-hop music especially Bobby Brown’s music, have resulted in significant amount of hearing loss such that he could not hear everything that his advisors told him.

“I am not denying that they told me about Iran’s nuclear capability, I just could not hear it.”  Said the President in a White House press conference yesterday.

George Bush’s hip-hop background has long been the subject of controversy in the rap world.  Rappers such as Fifty Cent ($.50) have been attacking George Bush for quite some time hiding behind the specter of the Iraq war, when in reality this is a rap versus hip-hop war.

George Bush of course has a major reputation for getting royally pissed off when anyone tries to tell him his business. Before George got into politics he even toyed with the notion of becoming a hip hop star and, but drugs and alcohol and religion had all taken their toll on him.  He just didn’t have the rhythm anymore and he was already starting to lose his voice and his ability to rhyme.

When GW Lost His Groove

People are always very nice publicly about George loosing his groove, because they do not want to touch the source of his problem, Laura Bush.  Laura Bush is publicly viewed as the nice librarian that has kids in mind all the time.

For George though, Laura’s librarian Shooshing forced George to turn down his hip hop music far too often.  Little did Laura know that when she was away the George would play “My Perogative” by Bobby Brown at insane levels (past 11!).  This hip hop binge consumption resulted in major hearing damage and neurological issues that have resulted in the President’s rapid decline in recent years.  A decline that has rapidly cut off connections in his brain.  This became evident early on when he lost his own ability to rhyme and sing and over the last 8 years, he has rapidly lost his ability to put together a complete sentence.

Bobby Brown and Laura Bush Might Be Responsible for Starting World War III

News Anchors around the world are secretly talking about the irony that has resulted in a scenario where the leader of the free world has been physically impaired by his wife and by Bobby Brown’s music.  As the US inches closer to full scale thermo nuclear war (words that George Bush used to be able to say clearly during drinking games at Yale), it is with a sad inevitability that things could have been different if George W Bush had been allowed to consume his hip hop at rational levels.

Oddly enough Singer Bobby Brown seems to suffer from some of the same physical problems that George Bush suffers from, even though many people in the know admit that comparisons really can’t be made as George W Bush did far more cocaine than Bobby Brown could have ever dreamed of, even with Whitney’s money.

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