Unanswered Questions

If you are very astute you may have noticed several unanswered questions that I did not mention in our article on How Taxes Really work for the sake of brevity.  If by chance you do not like these questions or the answers to these questions then do something to fix the system that is creating them or send me $100 and I will write an alternate version for you within the next 10 years.

1. Why didn’t the bar just give the tenth man $ 1 instead of taking $9 and paying $10?
1. The tenth man needed a receipt for the governments $10 paid to the bar, and the bar needed to launder $9 in drug and prostitution money they brought in under the table.
2. What happened to the United States?
1. The United States was seized by France that holds control over the country in the name of the Chinese that are moving here by the boat load.  France was chosen to appease them as they still have nuclear weapons and they were seen as the lesser of two evils by the Chinese as compared to Russia.
3. What Happened to the President of the United States?
1. He fled the country, sought sanctuary in Saudi Arabia where he converted to Islam.  His wife and daughters fled with him and they have not been seen since.  It is assumed that they are simply veiled now, but many people suspect that his wife was stoned to death and that his daughters were sold into bondage to a Bin Laden family member related to Osama.
4. There are several company names mentioned in this article, do they refer to actual companies or actual events?
1. These refer to actual events but do not refer to actual companies.  Any similarity of names in this account and real company names are solely the result of chance and possibly a faulty spell check system.  Any possible real companies with similar names would likely be far more greedy.
5. After the tenth man didn’t have to pay for beer, how did you come up with the percentages?
1. At $18, $12, $7, $3, and $1 the remaining paying people were paying a total of $41 dollars.  I then determined what percentage of $41 each was paying.  That broke down as  57%, 38%, 22%, 10% and 3%.  So I was then easily able to multiply these percentages by the new total of $130.
6. Did the bar have to shut down after they lost all of their customers and their aluminum kegs?
1. No, because they made their real money in prostitution and drugs, which increased as more people got into financial trouble and as more people needed to make money.  The bar actually expanded and eventually took over an old Wal-mart (the non super type) where people could go to buy their drugs and spend 5 minutes with a prostitute.  Ironically by that time most of the prostitutes were former wives of their customers.  The bar was also by now owned by the Chinese, who had essentially learned how to prostitute American Wives to their American husbands and take their money for the privilege.
7. Is the ViralGrapeVine Guarantee for Real?  How about the Tooth Fairy?
1. No, I we do not want your money and we definitely do not want your self addressed stamped envelopes that’s why we did not provide an address.  If you send us money, we’ll charge you a $5 fee for wasting our time, and then we will do our best to write up something witty to make the rest of our readers laugh.
2. The Tooth Fairy is definitely real, She’s also very hot in bed!  I’ve got pictures, if you want to see them send me $5 along with a self addressed stamped envelope.  The lighting is a little dark, but you can make out enough to know whether I’m pulling your leg or not.

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