Huckabee Comes Out in San Francisco Gay as a two dollar Bill
Presidential Long shot Mike Huckabee surprised a San Francisco audience today by coming out and declaring himself a homosexual in San Francisco.
“I have had this feeling ever since I can remember. I was born this way and I am not going to hide it any longer. I would also like to challenge my other Republican competitors to come clean and admit their homosexuality as well. I’m pretty sure about John McCain, but I can attest that Mitt Romney and I have had an on again mostly off again love affair for over a decade. They call him the Mitt due to his uncanny ability to provide a fantastic reach around.”
Mike Huckabee’s speech stunned his audience and his campaign staff with the exception of one young male staffer, who cried out, “Wooohooo! I love you Hucky, I just love you to pieces.”
Mike Huckabee joins a long long list of both Conservative Republicans and Conservative Preachers who have come forward to admit their homosexuality. It is surprising and inspiring that Huckabee would choose to come out in San Francisco and while campaigning for President. He later stated,
“I know where my base is. I know who my base is. The Republican Party has a fabulous base of great big homos like myself, and we don’t have to stand divided in the ranks any more.”
After closing off his comments, Huckabee then led reporters out of the hotel conference room and down the block where he entered a San Francisco bath house, pointed at an hulking bear of a man and ushered him upstairs with a nod. He came back down about 45 minutes later looking refreshed and about 5 pounds lighter in the loafers.
Barack Obama just happened to be caught off guard by the press in Los Angeles while watching a news report of Huckabees speech and trist. He was audibly overheard remarking,
“I always new that Mitt was a well put together man, but I would have never seen this coming . . . Hey, Hey that’s Jeremy Toobins!” He then looked around and left the vicinity immediately.
Reporters later learned that the bearish man that Mike Huckabee met in the bathhouse was none other than Jeremy Toobins of Hawaii, a former class mate of Barack Obama at an elite high school on the island.
The eruptions within the Republican party did not end with Huckabee in that bathhouse either. Pat Buchanan was speaking during an interview when producers shut off his microphone. He could be heard yelling,
“They are taking over the whole F***$#@ party. Its started with that F@* George W Bush, and now it has spread throughout the ranks. I’m gonna fly straight to Georgia and Kick Newt Gingrich right in the nuts. I’ll bet you a million dollars that he knew about this one too and didn’t . . .”
