I am very sad today to report that my recent start up venture, has been forced to scrap our production of a hot new iPhone application, called “I Am a Moron”.

It would seem that some one beat us to market with a similar concept “I am Rich”, an iPhone application that sold for $999 (maximum price) through Apple Stores. Unlike our application, the ‘I am Rich’ application did nothing but display a screen saver with a Ruby on it as a ‘work of art‘, which could be used as a status symbol to let your friends know that you had money to burn. 

It sure didn’t do anything practical like increase vault size or help get a $40 million beach house approved on the Ocean side of A1A in Palm Beach.

Our application on the contrary served a valuable public service. It randomly replaced ring tones on a users iPhone with the very loud and vocal words of “HEY YOU BIG DUMB MORON, ANSWER YOUR STUPID PHONE!”.

Our application also was designed to sell at a price point of $999. We conducted a large number of focus groups and marketing surveys with a specialty marketing firm (maybe you’ve heard of them FanBoy Research Inc in San Francisco).

Their research results indicated that there would be a massive number of iPhone users that would love this product and its service.

Unfortunately, Apple has decided to block our application from their store temporarily as they undergo a full review of their application approval process.

That review is expected to take 9 months. We do not have the funding to keep our startup going that long and we are now forced to shut things down.

We do not have much debt($123,452 mostly owed to Appalachian Strip Clubs), so if anyone has a spare $40 million dollars laying around, this would be a great opportunity to sink some money into a great equity deal. Please contact me and we can discuss the sale of the rights to our application. If I don’t pick up on the first ring myself, its because I’m playing PS3 in a tourney today at my parent’s house. I start middle school next week and have to get through this level with my team.

For an extra $123,452 we can complete beta testing as well. (It would seem that all of our beta testers spend a lot of time in Appalachian Strip Clubs.)