1. Toyota – We’ll Get you to work faster!  Like it or not
2. Toyota – Providing Speeding Ticket Alibis for over 40 years
3. Toyota- Cruise control was never more automated
4. Toyota—You’ll never test drive another car, after you test drive a Prius.
5. Prius—We’re fighting the root cause of global warming with our new Prius accelerator design.  Its wiping out the real source of emissions, You!
6. Toyota Public Service Message – We at Toyota want you to phone your Congressman and demand an increase to speed limits so that your new Toyota can travel at the speeds it was designed to travel at, when it wants to travel at that speed.
7. Toyota – Moving forward whether you like it or not
8. Toyota Customer Reviews – I’m in my Toyota now, I’d love to stop and help you but I can’t stop
9. Toyota on the Recall—We’re sure you recall when we made great cars.
10. Toyota–For those who like to go everywhere flat out.
11. Toyota—Get Ready for the ride of your life!
12. Toyota—With all new super glue throttle control

Now for a quick sponsor image…

Additional Toyota Jokes in the News

• "Toyota’s slogan is ‘Moving Forward’ — they don’t say anything in there about stopping." –Stephen Colbert on the Comedy Channel’s The Colbert Report.
• "Over the next two weeks, we’re going to have the Winter Olympics. … They’re doing something this year that is going to add a little more excitement. All the bobsleds are made by Toyota." — NBC’s Jay Leno.
• "Critics of the automobile industry are saying that Toyota executives knew about the problems with the brakes years and years ago. And they’re wondering … why did they drag their feet? Well, trying to stop the car. That’s what they were doing." — CBS’ David Letterman.
• "The recall is so scary that as he is driving to work: The navigation lady was actually praying." — Also from Letterman

• "To make sure Bill Clinton’s heart doesn’t stop, doctors put in a special pacemaker made by Toyota." — Gary B. at Dailycomedy.com
• "Toyota should borrow the ad slogan from Energizer batteries: "It keeps going and going." — Cara Tramontano on DailyComedy.com, with some massaging by Drive On.
• "The new model from Toyota this spring, the Toyota Apology: It gets two repair shops to the gallon" — Bix Brillo on DailyComedy.com
• "What do Toyota and Tiger Woods have in common?  They both don’t know when to stop."

Toyota Jokers on Twitter

"Toyota (acronym) This One You Oughta Tow Away." – @vizmagnafarta

"Toyota – Putting the "liability" in "reliability."" – @standupfalldown