Following Barack Obama’s Presidential Election acceptance speech in Ohio today, which dove tailed three days after the leak of Barack Obama’s inaugural speech Friday evening, John McCain conceded that if by some twisted miracle he, John McCain, actually won the election, that he would ask Barack Obama to serve as the first Secretary of Speeches, a new cabinet level position.

"He just speaks to good and in this time of economic down turn and uncertainty, we need a speech giver that can bring people together." McCain stated on the stump in Virginia. "Even I can see that Obama is a great speech giver and I’ll gladly step across the aisle to ask for his help."

Barack Obama was quoted by a squadron of press analysts when he stated, "[chuckle with big grin from ear to ear which is a pretty damned big grin]I respect John’s service, and that is why when I’m elected President next Monday (Freudian slip) I will ask John to serve as my Secretary of Maverickism. If he decides to decline, I will extend the same offer to Governor Sarah Palin. I don’t think any administration can survive the next four years with out getting mavericked up to the gills."

When asked about other cabinet positions he might choose to create he was later pinned down when Michelle Obama gave a noticeably loud reverberant throat clearing noise, after which Barack said, "Oh yeah, and I will also be naming Hillary Clinton as my new Secretary of Intern Affairs. Michelle and I feel that only Hillary Clinton can see our country through the troubled waters ahead of screening, hiring, managing and corralling White House interns."