GirlCapitalist.com had a great little article titled Google: Shocking Insider Secrets.  She started out covering the article Life At Google – The Microsoftie Perspective.  Both great articles, I’m sure (I read the first but not the second.)

Anyway Here’s the relevant quote that inspired the strategy for a Google Protest that will result in the firing of the current CEO (or any Google CEO in office when the protest is started).

The live search feed is boring. Google touts that every building streams a feed of what’s being searched for this very moment. It’s really boring to watch. I’ve literally sat there for hours on end waiting for someone to search for “giant horse vagina,” and I’ve never seen it. I know that people search for “giant horse vagina!” Google must censor this information, which I call un-American.

Note that GirlCapitalist claims to be a Google employee.  I don’t know if that’s true or not, but it makes for a better article so I’ll believe her(if you want to believe that GirlCapitalist is really a girl and not an amoeba).  Also if you came to this site looking for Giant Horse Vagina’s you are either really lame or you are executing my plan and the Google CEO will fall soon!

How to Protest Google with Giant Horse Vagina Searches

You make it oh so tempting to go open a few dozen tabs on Firefox and paste in the phrase “Giant Horse Vagina” in every search box and hit enter.

The next time the world gets really pissed at Google, maybe we should have a ‘Giant Horse Vagina’ Protest.

Everyone could do 20 or thirty quick searches each.

Giant Horse Vagina’s would be streaming though every Google building around the world, maybe for days. But it really gets better soon after that!

If enough people do Giant Horse Vagina Searches, then the SEM’s are going to notice and some brazen young Adword Entrepreneur is going to get his knickers wadded up racing to get an Adwords campaign started to cover Giant Horse Vagina’s.

Covered with what?

I don’t maybe cream, but more likely some stupid survey that never really ends and doesn’t give a pot of gold at the end of the survey rainbow.

But once they break the Giant Horse Vagina Hymen, then all the other advertisers will jump on board and there will be a massive Giant Horse Vagina advertising PUSH. Then before you know it Google will be raking in another couple brink trucks full of cash from Giant Horse Vagina’s.

Now that might seem to defeat the purpose of protesting Google in the first place, but this is where the plan gets even better.

You see if millions and millions of people do these Giant Horse Vagina Searches and thousands maybe a few million advertisers load up their Adwords campaigns with Giant Horse Vagina’s and of course the Made For Adsense crowd comes in sporting the latest in one page teaser websites trying to entice the world with Giant Horse Vagina’s, well eventually Google might just make enough money off these Giant Horse Vagina’s that they will need to make a special disclosure on their public financial statements, maybe the 10Q as I doubt we could keep these Giant Horse Vagina’s running for more than a few months.

Then when the CEO of Google hops on the phone for the quarterly conference call, he’ll have to explain how Google beat their earnings expectations because of an unexpected surge in Giant Horse Vagina’s.

The analysts will all go ape shit over this Giant Horse Vagina thing, and the stock investors and the board and all the silicon valley types that still own Google will feel a little embarassed but then the greedy bastards will warm up to this Giant Horse Vagina Earnings Spike.

They’ll eventually start voicing their desire for the CEO to repeat those results and go bring in some more Giant Horse Vagina Earnings.

So now you’ve been waiting for the outcome . . .

So since this whole thing was a protest in the first place, there won’t be anyone out there to keep hitting the search buttons to crank up the results on Giant Horse Vagina’s. The Giant Horse Vaginas will start disappearing from the walls of Google, disappearing right before the CEO’s eyes.

He’ll go home at night drinking too much suffering from bad dreams about Giant Horse Vagina’s stampeding the Google Stock price. The next quarter he’ll miss earnings because he will have been so distracted by the Giant Horse Vagina.

The next quarter the analysts will line up demanding their Giant Horse Vagina’s, but the Giant Horse Vagina fairy won’t come a second time. They will have to go back and explain to their hedge funds why they Giant Horse Vagina ‘Can’t Do’ anymore. They’ll need a fall guy, the Google CEO will be that fall guy and the board will find a replacement for him faster than a horse on the home stretch in heat being chased by a Google owned Stud with cash dripping out of its nostrils.

Similar Fantastic Articles:

1. Kentucky Derby to Feature Riderless Horse Racing in 2010 This year the Kentucky Derby will feature riderless Horse racing. For years activists have demonstrated...
2. Google Goofs and elgooG Here’s some fun video of what you can really get out of Google   Technorati...
3. FVA- Episode 4 Remix Episode 4 is pretty much an experiment to check out some formats we have been...
4. Say it 3 times fast – A Race Horse Named Hoof Hearted YouTube – Hoof Hearted...

One Response to “Protesting Google with the Giant Horse Vagina Search Strategy”