BOSTON—NASCAR and the National Hockey League announced Wednesday they would punish Sprint Cup driver Carl Edwards for hitting Boston center Marc Savard with his No. 99 Ford Fusion stock car late in the third period... […]

WASHINGTON—"The time has come for our ugly, intolerant rhetoric to step into the 21st century. Our disgusting, dehumanizing slurs simply must reflect the terrifying new global society we now live in," said American Racists and Bigots Council chairman Tom Branson. […]

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PITTSBURGH—In the wake of sexual assault allegations made against Ben Roethlisberger by a Georgia college student, nervous Steelers fans across the nation speculated that the supposed victim was most likely a conniving harpy... […]

SACRAMENTO, CA—Bishop Robert K. Boland of the Roman Catholic Diocese of Sacramento announced Monday that, although he remains a devoted servant of God and the Catholic Church, he has become tired of the same old church scene. […]