Squeaky Speaking Scientists Suck Helium to Keep Earth out of Black hOle
The European super collider known as LHC destined to figure out antimatter and much more scared many people thinking that it could trigger a black hole that would swallow the earth. It scared some people so much that they set up web cams to monitor the collider around the clock looking for evidence of an escalation of the eschaton.
So you can imagine the surprise of discovery by dozens of scientists whose voice suddenly became very high pitched and nasally like a cartoon when a different type of accident occurred. The site suffered a major temperature rise. Not a combustion of fusion that would turn Earth into a new Sun, but instead a good sized jump that messed with the collider magnets and caused lots of problems.
It could have triggered a black hole if macgiveresque scientists had not acted quickly to thwart global catastrophe. Jean Luc Bousardo performed a number of calculations to solve for a prevention of catastrophe when he saw temperatures rising and magnets failing. From his deductions, he then grabbed a fire ax and attacked several helium tanks.
This unleashed a massive amount of helium, which was rapidly inhaled by all scientists and techs present. Jean Luc then proceeded to direct the mass of scientists in a fast rendition of Soundgarden’s Black Hole Sun sung with that high pitched voice that can only be achieved from sucking helium. The Scientists belted out the squeaky power balad over and over again maintaining a harmonic resonance that kept the facility stable until crews could cool the tunnels and bring the entire project offline for repairs.
The adhoc attempt to save us all from eminent doom worked so well that choirs have now been brought in to sing with helium aided assistance in the break room that formerly showed movies 24/7 for employees complete with a cafe and home theater seating.
