Viral Grape Vine

A toddler is being prosecuted in Providence, Rhode Island under Federal Hate Crime statutes.  The toddler of Caucasian and African decent, crossed his eyes at Muslim baby girl in the Toddler Christian Academy in downtown Providence.

A teacher and school administrator both witnessed the obvious hateful attack and called authorities immediately.  Police responded within 15 minutes, handcuffed the toddler and were later forced to taser the toddler in the squad car, when the infant became belligerent and spit up on the officer.

Providence has recently come under fire as a hot bed for hate crimes against babies. The crimes have not been limited to Muslims alone.  Similar hate crimes have been noted against almost every race and religion in Providence.  This once happy city is now considered to be one of the most bigoted and hateful places in America.  One news pundit even made the claim that small children were being taught to cross their eyes at a very early age.  The practice of making ‘GooGoo’ eyes at babies has been depicted in cartoons and movies for decades, but it was only recently noted that eye crossing and GooGoo eyes is racially and sometimes religiously offensive and when performed within a close proximity of less than 3 feet, it is a Federal Offense.

With the advent of HIV, it is now also considered to be attempted murder with a weapon when a toddler blows air raspberries in the general direction of other toddlers.  The transaction of blowing raspberries often times results in potentially infectious spittle being transmitted from one hateful child to another.

These situations has led the ACLU to sponsor lawsuits that would require that children convicted of these hate crimes and hate crime assaults to have their eyes and tongues physically removed.