Tony Snow announced today that he would be leaving the White House on September 14, 2007, resigning from his position as the White House Press Secretary.  Un-Reliable sources in the West Wing are grumbling that Snow resigned so that he could travel to Cuba for Cancer Treatment sessions on September 15, 2007.

Snow was apparently inspired by the Michael Moore film Sicko.  In the film Moore filmed 9/11 workers that traveled to Cuba to seek medical help for ailments stemming from their work cleaning up ground zero.

Cubans Close to Synthesizing Fountain of Youth

Few people realize that the fountain of Youth is located in Cuba.  Fidel Castro reportedly found the fountain in the 1940’s in the mountains of Cuba and utilized its regenerative powers to inspire his troops to over throw the government (and refresh and heal wounded soldiers.) 

The fountain turns out a limited supply of water, but the Cuban government has spent most of their oil revenues on biotech in order to find a way to synthesize the healing properties of the water.  Many believe that the Cubans are getting close to their goal and once they achieve it, they hope to popularize smoking and cigars.

Once lung cancer can be healed, it will be anything goes with drugs and alcohol around the world.

It is unknown why the Spanish conquistadors were unable to find the fountain of youth as it is dramatically easy to recognize.  Its location is remote, but its not exactly hidden in the jungle.